Monday, December 26, 2016

Illuminati adds Skeptics Guide to the Universe to target list

The Illuminati will now target the Skeptics Guide to the Universe podcast as part of its offensive against fact checking organizations.

Blue Standard Bearer Regina made the announcement during a meeting with Bolingbrook mayor Roger Claar.  

“The SGU is ranked number 71 among iTunes podcasts.  That is unacceptable, and needs to be remedied if we want the rest of humanity of live in a post-fact society.”

Following Facebook’s announcement combat fake news stories by using third party fact checkers, the Illuminati launched Operation Body Check.  The Illuminati hopes to convince the majority of humans that “facts” are really talking points that the global elite uses against Donald Trump. and Vladimir Putin. They launched their campaign by planting an article in the Daily Mail against snopes.com.  

“The beauty of that article is that we never accused them of posting false stories.  All we had to do was mention that they employ sex workers and that their co-owner is going through a divorce.  The rest of the media is now doing our job for us.  Just look at how Forbes and Doubtful News are helping us take down Snopes.  Even PZ Myers is mildly critical of Snopes now!”

Regina says they hope to “politicize” the SGU in the same manner.  “Look at contributor Cara Santa Maria.  We don’t have to attack her work at all.  All we have to do is mention that she’s contributed to CNN, Current TV, The Young Turks, and the friends of ‘alt-truth’ will do the rest.  We just have to be make sure that they don’t know she’s also made appearances on Fox News.”

Claar praised the campaign.  “Thanks to the Illuminati, I can now campaign against the Illinois Republican establishment even though I’ve been a member of the establishment for 30 years.”

Dr. Steven Novella, leader of the SGU, defended all of the panelists, and the quality of the podcast.  “It doesn’t matter what the Trump administration says.  Facts are facts.  All of us have different political opinions.  Maria leans to the Left, but she supports vaccines because the facts support them.

Panelist Evan Bernstein added, “Hey, I dream of the day I can vote for a Republican candidate who believes in evolution, knows that climate change is a problem, and wants to give CEOs a tax break!”

Regina says the first anti-SGU articles should appear in early 2017.

Also in the Babbler:

Chicago police ticket Santa
Pro-Claar group to distribute flyers claiming that Bonnie is mayor
Psychic hospitalized after vision of 2017
God to smite Bolingbrook on 12/29/16

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.

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