Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Web Exclusive: Ten aliens arrested at Donald Trump’s Bolingbrook fundraiser

By Reporter X
Ten aliens were arrested at Donald Trump’s fundraiser in the Bolingbrook Golf Club.  Trump never saw the aliens.

“The situation was handled as forcefully as possible without causing any of the visitors to enter a state of terminal living.”  said Don Buck, spokesperson for the Department of Paranormal Affairs.

Nine of the aliens were members of the Sentient Life for a Friendly Earth.  They are opposed to Donald Trump apparent proposal to deport all space aliens from the Earth.

“We’ve invested 20 trillion credits to improve Earth!”  Lopappa, leader of the protesters shouted at the gathering.  “He can’t kick us off this planet without full compensation!”

“Donald Trump is a Centurion-Human hybrid!”  Yelled another protester.  “Why won’t the biased Right-wing media cover that?  Just look at this orange skin!”

The tenth alien was identified by authorities as being a member of an anti-vaccine terrorist group.  Sources say their goal is to end herd immunity among humans, and then unleash deadly, but preventable, diseases to exterminate humanity.

“Tell the world that Hillary Clinton is vaccinated!”  The alien shouted towards Trump’s dressing room.  “That’s why she’s so sick.  Also promise to arrest Dr. Paul Offit!  That will win you the election!”

The aliens are being detained at Clow UFO Base for possible trial and/or execution.  

Mayor Roger Claar could not be reached for comment, but a man who sounded like him was heard talking to Trump.

“It took a lot of work to get a diverse group of people to agree to be your opening act.  I hope you’ll remember that when it comes time to refill my campaign fund.”

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.

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