Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Zack Snyder directing political ad for Mayor Roger Claar

Sources around Bolingbrook confirm that Zack Snyder, Batman V. Superman, is filming an ad for Mayor Roger Claar’s reelection campaign.

A source close to Claar explained.  “This is part of our scorched earth strategy for the 2017 campaign.  This time we’re not taking any chances that someone substantive will try to run against him.  With this quality ad, and a large media buy, it will be insane to run against Roger.  As you know, when it is insane to run against Roger, only the insane will run against him.  You are going to remove my ableist remarks, right?”

Debbie, who claims to be a village employee, says she saw part of the pitch meeting between Claar and Snyder.  “Zack walked in, and the first thing he said to Roger was, “Don’t worry, we can fix you with CGI.’  I’m surprised that Roger allowed him to stay.”

Paul, another employee, claims to have heard part of the script review.  According to him, Claar objected to a major scene.

Claar: You are not doing this to her!
Snyder:  She was boring in your outline.  This will make her more interesting.
Claar:  She’s interesting enough.
Snyder:  I have a quota to—
Claar:  No!

Both agree that when Claar presented Snyder with the ad’s budget, he replied, “Oh my.  I might have to actually film in Bolingbrook.”

Several people claim to have been extra during one the outdoor filming.  Dan, who asked that we not use his last name, claims he overheard an argument between Claar and Snyder.  

Claar:  I am not wearing this green spandex suit!
Snyder:  It’s for the CGI.
Claar:  No.
Snyder:  We’ll work on it.
Claar:  And are you going to reveal my big line?  Is it, “This is Bolingbrook?”
Snyder:  No.  It’s, “Vote for me if you want to live.”
Claar:  You aren’t really filming a Terminator movie, are you?
Snyder:  No.

Paula described one scene in the ad.  “We had to stare at several green screens.  At one point, Zack yelled, ‘Roger just sent bombers to destroy Beaconridge.  React.’  Then he yelled, ‘You see the residents of Naperville’s slums approaching.  Panic!’  When someone told him there were no slums in Naperville, he didn’t take it well.  ‘How dare you attack my artistic vision!  This is my vision.  This is my Fountainhead!’”

The ad is expected to run in December of this year.  Though one extra is skeptical.

“I’m sure Zack really filming one of the Justice League movies.  I’m right, then this is the greatest honor since I was an extra in a Nicholas Cage movie!”

Also in the Babbler:

Bolingbrook residents complain about political ads on UFOs
Alien claims to have had an affair with Ted Cruz
Soviets threaten Bolingbrook with heat wave this summer
God to smite Bolingbrook on 4/1/16


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