Monday, March 14, 2016

Red Deer Reporter: Officials brace for possible Trump exodus

City officials believe that if Donald Trump is elected president, 25% of Red Deer’s residents could try to immigrate to the United States.

“Many residents aren’t happy living under Alberta’s New Democratic Party.”  said one anonymous city official.  “They say it’s too nice to people who aren’t exactly like them.  So if Donald Trump become President of the United States, they might leave.  One the one hand, it means we would have less people to provide services to.  On the other, it means we would lose part of our tax base.”

Leon Z. Miller is one of those residents who would try to move to the United States.

“My ancestors moved here after the Civil War because they lost their country and didn’t want to be part of the Union.  Now don’t get me wrong.  I like being a part of the Texas of the North, but the winters are terrible!  If Donald Trump wins, I want to move back and help him rebuild the Texas of the South!  Trump will make the Confederate States of America great again!  You know what I mean?”

Doug X. Peters, a spokesperson for the City of Red Deer, speculated that some residents would try to move to the United States if Donald Trump is elected.


“Keep in mind.  His whole campaign is based on throwing immigrants out of the United States.  I don’t think he’d wanted new immigrants coming in, even if they are from Canada.  If anything, it might inspire him to build a wall along the Canadian border and force us to pay for it.  I think we have better things to do with our money than build walls.  So I think we should all stick together and keep Red Deer great!”

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