Sunday, January 31, 2016

CFI’s feline fellows clash with Richard Dawkins

The Chicago Center for Inquiry’s feline fellows clashed with Richard Dawkins over inviting Rebecca Watson to speak at the upcoming Feline Lovers in Secularism conference.

The dispute, according to sources within CFI Chicago, was over giving Dawkins a speaking slot at the conference.  Dawkins, who was disinvited from the NECSS over what many consider an offensive anti-feminist tweet, wants to use this CFI conference to rehabilitate his public image.  The sources say that since he wants to speak at the conference and since he now controls CFI, Watson must be disinvited.

“We hope that after the cats and I talk with Richard, we can resolve this.” said John Z. Miller, Executive Director of CFI Chicago, before the meeting with Dawkins.  “We did everything right.  We have a generous donor who is paying for this conference, and he really wants Rebecca to speak at it.  Like we always say around here, if someone gives you money, and then offers to give you more money, you shut up and listen to them. Let me add that all of us believe in science, all of don't believe in God, and we all dislike PZ Myers.  We can come together and work this out.”

At the start of the meeting, CFI feline Andy tried to explain Twitter to Dawkins.

“Obviously you don’t understand Twitter, Professor Dawkins.  Twitter is just for announcements and links.  You don’t want to make complex arguments there.  You want to keep it short and fun!  If you want to make a long point, post a link to your blog!  If you like someone’s tweet, make sure you check their bio before retweeting.  Don’t be like Donald Trump.  Oh, if someone make you mad on Twitter, don’t get into a fight.  Do what I do.  Walk away from the screen and play with a catnip toy!  That’s how you Twitter.”

Dawkins replied that Andy didn’t appreciate his brilliance, and that he actually has the best Twitter feed.

Feline fellow Cassie, argued with Dawkins over his actions following his posting of his offensive tweet.

“Professor Dawkins, why don’t you believe that the woman in that video has been harassed?”

“Because I don’t have any proof that she was.”

“Here is a link proving that she’s been for harassed over three years.”

“I don’t care what that link says, my new friends on Twitter say feminists fake harassment against them for attention and sympathy.”

“Do you have evidence for this?”

“No, but it makes sense!”

“So you’re saying that Maryam Namazie staged her harassment at Goldsmith University?”

“Of course not!  That doesn’t make sense.  Especially because it was done by Muslims!”

After several minutes, Dawkins proclaimed that he wanted to use FLIS conference to prove that he loves women.  “I love women.  I’m married to a time lord, and I continue to show my love to other women.  How dare these vile feminists say I hate women!  Unless you are 100% focused on the destruction of Islam, you are not a feminist!”

Dawkins then retweeted an anti-feminist meme featuring a photo of a women about to be executed by a muslim.  Feline fellow Anti-psychic Kitty replied by peeing on Dawkins’s leg.

Dawkins screamed in disgust then said, “What do you have to say for yourself?”

“I’m so cute.”  APK replied.

Miller punished APK by forcing him to take an unpaid nap day.

“This is in accordance with CFI policy.  If he did more, I would have required him to take a week's worth of unpaid naps.”

Eventually, both sides reached an agreement, according to Miller.

“We’re going to march over to Mosque Maryam with Richard, and stage a protest against the Nation of Islam.  This event will give him credit for standing up against Islam, and for doing African American outreach.

“Rebecca Watson can speak at our convention, if she wants to, and Richard’s people won’t complain.  This is a win-win for everyone!”

Also in the Babbler:

Pro-Clinton UFO fleet spotted over Iowa
Trump vows to shutdown Clow UFO Base if elected
Mayor Claar grows new administrative judge in laboratory 
God to smite Bolingbrook on 2/2/16

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