Monday, January 11, 2016

Aliens and Clow staff mourn the death of David Bowie.



By Reporter X

Many aliens at Clow UFO Base mourned the loss of David Bowie.

“He may called himself a space oddity,” said Logoop from Alpha Centauri.  “But I will always remember him as an honorary member of the interstellar community.”

Former Mayor Edward Rosenthal fondly remembered Bowie’s only concert at Clow.

“It was a command performance for the Martian Colonial Ambassador.  We were worried that he might act like a rock star backstage and create a situation.  Instead he was one of the nicest artists I had worked with at Clow.  He was very calm around the Ambassador, and didn’t flinch when he was presented with a real Martian Sand Spider.  He even asked the Ambassador if the colonies could mount a rescue mission for Major Tom.  I never got the chance to ask if that was joke or not.”

Joclock, from the NGC 6397 cluster, said that Bowie’s music helped him survive visits to Earth.

“I used to feel like an alien when I was around humans.  It was very lonely.  Then I started listening to his albums.  That was when I realized that even humans, natives to this planet, could feel like aliens.  When I realized that, I no longer felt like an alien.  I felt perfectly normal when I put on my human suit to go outside.  I wish I could have told him that.”

Not all aliens were saddened by Bowie’s death.

“He murdered my children.”  said Plago, from an unknown planet.  “I held up the fluid glass during one of his concerts so they could get a closer look.  He thought I was giving him a glass of water.  That (expletive deleted) drank my children!  It took me years to breed them, and seconds for him to devour them.  What a monster!”

Clow officials expect record in the weeks leading up to the Bowie tribute concert scheduled for March 31.


“He was a unique artist, whose work touched lives around the Galaxy!”  said one anonymous source.

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