Monday, December 21, 2015

Letters to the Editor December 2015

By Doug Fields
Readers' Editor

Hello Bolingbrook.  It’s that time of year when our staff takes time off to be with their families, and we let the readers speak their minds.  Anyone can post a comment on a web page.  This week, we’re celebrating the nearly lost art of writing a letter to the editor.

Not everyone has this talent.  Some confuse brevity with the lack of content.  As you can see below.

To the Editor: 
Donald Trump is popular!  He’s amazing!  He tells it like it is.  Donald Trump is amazingly popular because he tells the truth!  DONALD TRUMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
Liberals don’t stand a chance in this election because, amazingly, Donald Trump’s truth is popular! 
Stan X WillardBolingbrook, IL

That is amazing.  Amazingly bad, even by the standards of the average Trump supporter.  We have printed the unbelievable truth since 1965, but Donald Trump is just unbelievable.  We’ll be following Donald Trump very closely this election season.

Anyway, sometimes our readers come up with good questions.

To the Editor:
I love the Bolingbrook Babbler!  Even though your web site sometimes features stories from around the world, you still post more articles about Bolingbrook than the Chicago Tribune’s Bolingbrook section.  It’s like they can’t tell the difference between Plainfield and Bolingbrook.  Why is that? 
Sue X WhitmoreBolingbrook, IL

Sue, the sad truth is that mainstream journalism is all about getting access to top leaders.  Mayor Roger Claar won’t give any of their reporters the time of day.  Plainfield, on the other hand, is desperate for attention.  So the Tribune has to run articles about Plainfield to fill the void in their Bolingbrook coverage.  We, on the other hand, will always work hard to deliver the unbelievable truth about Bolingbrook, with or without Roger’s help.

Speaking of help, we like to cover our local businesses, and we are open to story suggestions, but this reader’s suggestion is a bridge too far.

To the Editor:
I work for (company name deleted) in Bolingbrook.  We’re multi-billion dollar corporation with an awesome future around the world!  Our social media presence is second to none!  Our CEO makes YouTube videos!  It’s an awesome place to work, and it’s going to become more awesome in 2016! 
You guys are funny, and popular in Bolingbrook.  Why don’t you help (company name deleted) by writing a story about us?  I’ve got the perfect story!  You can say our company liberated a warehouse from aliens!  The employees are so happy that they start singing Supercalifragilistic(company name deleted).  The lyrics can highlight our corporate values and the value we bring to our customers.  Your readers will laugh and learn about a very important Bolingbrook company.  What do you think? 
Dave Y. McAllenBolingbrook, IL

No.  No.  No!  If your billion dollar corporation wants to use their employees’ social media accounts for free advertising, that’s their business.  Asking us to give them free advertising is another matter.  If your company wants to be featured in the Babbler, they can buy advertising at our reasonable rates, or do something newsworthy!

Finally, the Internet has a question for us.

To the Editor: 
You guys have been working on a secret project since 2014.  Are you still working on it, and is it true that PZ Myers is involved?  No, I’m positive that PZ is involved!  This is just your chance to confess and then renounce him! Otherwise… #MRAalltheway, #Atheist! #PZSucks
Mammoth HunterThe Internet

We’re still working on the project.  It’s talking longer than we anticipated, but are pleased with what we are seeing.

No, PZ Myers is not involved.  When we are ready, we’ll announce more details.

Do you think you can write a better letter to the editor?  Send to us at bolingbrookbabbler at gmail (dot) com.

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction. If you like this post please consider supporting me on Patreon.

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