Monday, October 26, 2015

Friendly Atheist Freight to start trucking in January


Will the famed Naperville blogger Hemant “The Friendly Atheist” Mehta’s face soon appear on the sides of 53’ trailers?

Rick Z. Hernandez of Aurora recently started a new truckling company called Friendly Atheist Freight.  Named in honor of the blogger, Hernandez hopes that company will prove “that you can provide good customer service without God.”

Hernandez said he came up with the idea after dealing with an explicitly religious trucking company.  

“I asked if they had the (man)power to cover my load.  I explained that it was really important that it be picked up and delivered on time.  The dispatcher said yes.  So I gave him the freight.  Anyway, pickup day came, and there was no driver.  I called back, and he said he didn’t have any drivers.  I asked why he lied to me.  He denied lying to me.  I’ll never forget what he said.  ‘The Lord told me to accept your load.  If He decided not to provide you with a driver, than who am I to question the Lord?’”

Paul, an owner-operator who asked that we not use his last name, say he is excited to be partnering with FAF.

“Every time I have to haul a trailer with a biblical quote it, I cringe.  Now I’m going to be hauling trailers with quotes from all the great New Atheists.  What’s even better, all the drivers can choose which quotes they want on their trailers.  So if a driver wants a trailer with a Heina Dadabhoy quote or a Sikivu Hutchinson quote instead of Christopher Hitchens, they can!  No deep rifts with this company!”

When asked if he had permission to use Mehta’s likeness or had even told him about he company, Hernandez hesitated.  

“I believe it is better to ask for forgiveness than to seek permission.  I’m sure that when Hemant understands how much money I have already spent on this company, and how many people I will be employing, he will be friendly enough to forgive me, and wave his marketing fee.”

When reached for comment, a receptionist for Mehta said he could not be disturbed.

“Hemant is busy doing the work necessary to keep the atheist movement united and focused on the real threat of religious theocracy!”

In the background,  a man sounded like he was speaking on the phone.

“Richard!  You’re tweets are killing me.  Especially your last one about trans women!  What’s wrong?  I’m trying to be friendly to everyone in the atheist movement.  Since I’m required to defend you, I’m going to offend people who believe trans women are unquestionably women.  They’re not going to think I’m friendly towards them.  That hurts my business model and affects traffic to my blog and podcast!  I have a family to support.  Richard, please, please skip to the part where you say that you were misunderstood and blame Twitter.  I can get all atheists to agree that Twitter is bad, and everyone will like me again!”

Also in the Babbler:

Clow UFO Base lockdown ends two hours after nearby shooting
No ghosts or aliens involved in shooting incident
Opinion:  Claar will not take your guns after shooting

God to spare Bolingbrook this week.

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