Tuesday, September 8, 2015

CFI Chicago's feline fellows to speak at Reason Rally 2016

Center for Inquiry fellow Anti-psychic Kitty.
Center for Inquiry’s Chicago branch announced that their three feline fellows, Andy, Anti-psychic Kitty, and Cassie, will be speaking at Reason Rally 2016.

Said CFI Chicago President Carl Z. Stroger, “We are honored to send our three furry fellows to Washington DC for this historic event.  CFI is committed to diversity, and nothing says diversity like cats!”

The Reason Rally, which starts with special events on June 1 through 3 and concludes with the rally on June 4, is intended to show the support for atheists and the “dream of a future where people are free to express rational and reasonable views without the fear of reprisal, retaliation, or retribution!”  

The cats, who communicate through special collars, said they are excited to be a part of Reason Rally.

“Cats have a strong tradition of freethinking.”  Said Cassie.  “We were not domesticated.  We simply choose to live with humans.  So it only rational that CFI would send us as representatives of the freethought movement.”

CFI will host a secret VIP event on June 3, where the cats will give presentations. 

Anti-psychic Kitty and James Randi will judge a psychic demonstration.  A prospect that excites Anti-Psychic Kitty.

“Randi created all of the animals fellows!  He made me to be the most skeptical creature on Earth.  I radiate so much anti-psychic energy that any psychic who tries to use their power will become so frustrated that their head will explode.  Literally!  I hope to demonstrate that in DC!”

Andy and Richard Dawkins will discuss the evolution of felines.

“It will be a really honor to work with Richard.  His top secret genetics work helped create us for the (James Randi Educational Foundation)!  He’s not so bad when he’s off Twitter.  Oh yeah.  His shoes always smell great!”

Cassie will give a speech entitled, “What cats can teach humans about feminism.”

“The last time I gave this speech, I was accused of cat-splaining to humans.  Well, I say feminism is important for both of our species.  I’m revising my speech so it will be so clear, even Ron Lindsay will understand it!”

In addition to the feline fellows, CFI DC’s canine fellow will participate in a panel discussion about the separation of church and state moderated by Patheos blogger Ed Brayton.  

Stroger says these events affirm CFI’s decision to adopt their animal fellows from JREF.

“We may call our belief system humanism, but our furry fellows show that it works for all sentient  beings!”

The animal fellows will be on stage for the main rally, but will speak due to security concerns, and fear of a backlash against science if the general public knew of their existence.  

Also in the Babbler:

Game of Thrones fan placed in suspended animation to avoid spoilers
Chicago police seek advice from ghost skeptic Hayley Stevens
Lisle trees return baby to his family
God to smite Bolingbrook on 9/12/15


Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction. If you like this post please consider supporting me on Patreon.

No comments: