Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Four anti-vaccination terrorists arrested at Clow UFO Base

By Reporter X

Clow UFO Base security personnel arrested four alleged members of the anti-vaccination terrorist group KukPu’K.  Two of the detainees were carrying vials of the measles virus.  

Donald X. Paulson, Clow UFO Base’s representative to the New World Order, stressed that the Bolingbrook was never in danger during the arrest.

“Once we received credible information that these terrorists were on board a craft bound for Clow, we directed that craft to a sealed medical emergency hanger.  Every human operative sent in to the craft was vaccinated.  The terrorists were stunned before they could unleash any biological agents.  We are also sterilizing the entire craft.  The passengers and crew are in isolation until we are absolutely certain they are not infectious.”

According to anonymous sources within Clow and the New World Order, the terrorists planned on spreading anti-vaccination propaganda in Bolingbrook.  Once Bolingbrook’s residents lost herd immunity, the terrorists would then unleash the measles virus, potentially killing many residents.

KuKPu’K is a terrorist organization that attacks civilizations by convincing their citizens not to vaccinate themselves, and then releasing deadly viruses that have vaccines.  Experts believe that KuKPu’K has destroyed 20 civilizations with this tactic.

The narrator of one of KuKPu’K’s holovidoes justifies these attacks by stating, “we are not anti-vaccine.  Just anti-stupidity.  Any civilization whose members refuse to get vaccinated deserves to die!”

Paulson blamed the United States’s current measles epidemic on a KuKPu’K’s operative releasing the virus at Disneyland.  He added that KuKPu’K is trying to establish more foothold in an effort to destroy the United States.

Bolingbrook Mayor Roger Claar urged all residents to get vaccinated, “because it is the right thing to do.”

He added, “Vaccines don’t cause autism.  They don’t turn you into slaves, and they don’t contain toxins.  This is not a partisan issue.  I have to deal with Republicans like Donald Trump, who embarrass our party whenever he tweets!  So I say, Left or Right, get vaccinated, now!”

Paulson added, that any human caught working with KuKPu’K will be framed for a crime against humanity.

KuKPu’K representatives could not be reached for comment.

A pro-vaccination activist, who asked not to be identified, told this reporter, “Oh my God!  You won’t persuade people to support vaccination by making up stories about alien terrorists.  You should follow the advice in this link!”

Also in The Babbler:

Soviets fail to destroy Bolingbrook with blizzard attack
UFO disappears of the Lisle Square
Gov. Rauner denies plan to sell union members to aliens

God to smite Bolingbrook on 2/6/15

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.

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