Monday, December 15, 2014

UFOs over Chicagoland proclaim ‘Black human lives matter’

By Reporter X

Approximately 25 UFOs flew over skies of Chicagoland to protest the recent deaths of Michael Brown, Tamir Rice, and Eric Garner.  

“These incidents show that humanity still has problem with skin pigment!” Boaz Kasca, head organizer of the protest.  “If you want to breathe the air on our planets, you must get your law enforcement under control!”

The protest was originally going to take place over Ferguson, but was moved to Bolingbrook’s Clow UFO Base after the New World Order refused to lift the UFO Ban over the St. Louis area.  Protestors also claimed that Missouri residents have shot at their UFOs while displaying their slogans.

“It is odd that the light skinned humans call President Obama a tyrant for giving his subjects the ability to afford private health care.”  Said Gorgo.  “Yet they have no problem with their law enforcement shooting citizens for improper tobacco transactions, or using excessive displays of force against protesters.”

Dalgo says he joined the protest over concerns about the future of humanity.

“There has been some improvement, but in the US sector, between your years 2003 to 2009, Blacks were about 4 times as likely to die in custody than Whites.  This needs to change.  I don’t want to come back in 100 years and see a dark skinned man suffocating in a spacesuit because a light skinned man cut his air supply in the name of law enforcement.”

There were no arrests or citations issued during the protest flights.  Clow officials confirmed that none of the UFOs exceeded the minimum visibility regulations for the Chicago area.

Doug Parker, a resident of Harvey, IL, claims to have seen one of the protest.

“The news has been getting me down lately, but when I saw the words, ‘Black human lives matter’ light up the sky, it made me happy.  Someone up there cares about us.

Bolingbrook Mayor Roger Claar praised the protesters for being peaceful, and also praised the professionalism of the Bolingbrook police department.

“In my village, all lives matter.”

Also in The Babbler:

Bears ask Egyptian gods to save their season
New UFO base nears completion near Rockford, IL
Sources: Northern Will County Water Agency paid for Claar’s trip to Europa.

God to smite Bolingbrook on 12/18/14

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.

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