Sunday, June 22, 2014

Ghost truck frightens Bolingbrook residents

File image of a truck.
Eyewitnesses claim to have seen a driverless semi-truck near RT 53 and I-55.

“I was driving back to Bolingbrook when my son noticed a truck behind us.”  Said Paula, who asked that we not use her last name.  “My son started motioning for the truck to honk its horn.  It did.  Then I looked back, and saw there was no driver!  The truck was honking and moving by itself!  Let me tell you, I’ve never driven so fast in my life!”

Charlie, who didn’t give his last name, also claimed he saw the driverless truck.  

“I was going to turn left on to 53, and I saw this driverless truck behind me.  I stared at it in amazement!  Then it honked at me!  I thought it was trying to talk to me, but then I realized it was just telling me that the light had turned green.”

After getting out of the way of the truck, Charlie pulled into a parking lot, and called 911.

“The dispatcher said I was abusing 911.  I told her to shut up and call Bolingbrook’s Department of Paranormal Affairs.  There was a haunted truck in Bolingbrook and she needed to do her job.  She hung up.  The next day, a police officer visited me and warned me not to talk about driverless trucks to anyone, except The Babbler, of course.”

Neil, a long haul truck driver, says he saw the truck at the I-55 Auto/Truck Plaza.  He confirms that it had no driver, but it was occupied.  According to Neil, a young man stepped out of the truck and filled it with gas.  He then struck up a conversation with Neil.  The man told Neil that the truck was part of a secret Microsoft project to create automated trucks.  The man said that if the truck was successful, it would revolutionize the trucking industry, allow Bing Maps to overtake Google Maps, and lower transportation costs.

“I am the future of trucking.”  The man allegedly said.  “While you’re trying to stay awake and not get lost, I’m playing video games, blogging, taking online courses, and getting paid to do nothing except pump gas, and reboot the system if it crashes.  You know what the best part is?  It has no blind spots!  So it’s actually safer on the road than your truck!”

Said Charlie, “That’s the really frightening thing about this truck!  It could cost me my job!”

A spokesperson for Microsoft refused to comment, but did mention an article on the Vox web site about automated trucks.

Also in The Babbler:

Atheists threaten to build monument to Richard Dawkins in Bolingbrook
Soviets fail to drown Chicago
Michi the lake monster dies

God to smite Bolingbrook on 6/26/14

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.

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