Sunday, March 30, 2014

Obama will not expose the truth about aliens, says Biden

By Reporter X

While visiting Clow UFO Base, Vice President Joe Biden denied charges that President Barrack Obama will expose the aliens’ presence on Earth.

“Our administration fully respects our treaty obligations to the Interstellar community as well as our subservience to the New World Order.”  Said Biden.  “We will work with the Interstellar Alliance for the Advancement of Science once they determine that humanity is ready to learn the truth about aliens.”

Responding to conservative activist Jim Garrow’s charge that Obama will make a public announcement at Area 51, Biden laughed.  

“It’s like that man went to a Tea Party web site, and a UFO web site, and randomly picked words out to attack the President.  I wonder if he’s a real person or an actor covering for a Koch brothers computer program?”

Biden also praised Bolingbrook Mayor Roger Claar and the staff of Clow for their cleanup efforts following the abductee uprising earlier this month.

“Roger, unlike your Republican colleagues in Congress, you actually get things done.  You’re helping us meet our goal of getting all US UFO bases back online by May 1.  Thank you.”

“I’d say, ‘You’re welcome,’ but I don’t want to get in trouble with the state party.”  Claar replied.

Biden also announced that he would be touring Bolingbrook in disguise, “to see what residents really think of our administration.”  Sources say that includes a trip to The Promenade where he will covertly dine at an undisclosed restaurant. 

“I should stop by here more often.”  Biden said.

“Have your boss make a public appearance here too.”  Claar replied.  “I can show him how much our village has changed since Ronald Reagan visited Bolingbrook.

Biden also met with Chicago officials at Clow.  Though he would not comment on the content of those talks, sources did confirm they were about Chicago’s proposed UFO Base that could rival Clow in size.

Area 51 will be Biden’s next stop on his tour of American UFO bases.  He has promised to meet with extraterrestrial delegates who claim the base has an unusually high death rate.  Biden denies that Area 51 officials are murdering aliens visitors so they can perform autopsies. 

Also in The Babbler:

El Chupacabra: Ben Radford was my lover!
Ventra AI denies responsibility for Blue Line derailment
Soviets threaten “Red Summer” unless Bolingbrook surrenders
God to smite Bolingbrook on 4/2/14

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.

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