Sunday, December 22, 2013

The Babbler’s top eleven articles for 2013

By Sarah Langston
Editor of The Bolingbrook Babbler

It has been quite a year for Bolingbrook!  Mayor Roger Claar was elected to his eighth term, a Bolingbrook record which may never be broken.  We’ve survived several Soviet weather attacks.  The number of weredeer shooting back at Will County hunters decreased by 15 percent.  The Department of Paranormal Affairs, however reported a 20 percent increase in hauntings in Bolingbrook.  

Throughout the year we’ve covered the stories that Bolingbrook’s other news sources won’t.  Claar may have been indirectly referring to our web site back in September, but we stand by our stories.  We say it doesn’t matter if you read our articles in our paper, on a cell phone, on a PC or on a tablet.  The unbelievable truth transcends formats.

As you’re taking a break from your last minute shopping, (hopefully in one of Bolingbrook’s many fine stores), we invite you to look back at our 11 most popular stories of 2013 from our web site.  We have many fond memories of these stories, and we hope you do too.

11) Atheist “crusaders” detained at O’Hare.  The folks at r/atheism denounced this story.  We’ll take that as a compliment.  

10) Space aliens removed from AutismOne Conference.  Originally written in 2011, it is still referenced by pro-vaccine activists. They just can’t stop citing it.  

9) Bikini-clad women protest corn sales.  This is from our sister publication, The Red Deer Reporter based in Alberta, CA.  Bikinis, unfortunately, can still translate into web hits.

8) Mayor Roger Claar vows to crush The Roger Claar party. People like Bonnie may come and go, but rivalry between Claar and the party that named itself after Claar without his permission lives on.

7) Ghost of Margaret Thatcher attacks Richard Dawkins. Richard Dawkins did not have a good year, as this article from our sister publication, The Manchester Mumbler shows.

6) Ghost cryptozoologists condem Bigfoot expert Matt Moneymaker.  This article dates back to 2012, but we still get visits from the Bigfoot Buzz.  Yet another fine article from our sister publication, The Manchester Mumbler.

5) Swamp Monster spotted in Bolingbrook. This classic from 2008 is always finding a new audience.

4) Prehistoric computers from Whalon Lake reveal global cooling debate. A classic from 2010 that is still relevant today.

3) Chicago Skeptics shock the world by hosting the largest Skepticamp ever! Our enemies, The Chicago Skeptics, are still talking about this gathering.  Psychics are still recovering from the anti-psychic energy this event created. Yet they intend to host another camp in 2014!

2) Sirius leaders demand the return of ATA. We were the first with the shocking story about this miniature alien.

1) CSICOP teams up with Guerrilla Skeptics to form “Candle Tactical Teams.”  The federal government didn’t collapse but skeptics and believers alike are still interested in articles about the Guerrilla Skeptics.  To date, they have not “edited” a Wikipedia article about us.

2013 was quite a year, and we look forward to presenting more unbelievably true stories in 2014.  Be sure to follow us on Twitter @BolingbrookBabb.  You can also keep up with us on Facebook, and on Google+. We’ll have some very major announcements to make in 2014 too.

Also in The Babbler:

Soviets promise to burry Bolingbrook with a White Christmas
Anti-psychic Kitty:  Cats do love humans, even if they are needy.
Shopping with the Men in Blue program improves community relations

God to smite Bolingbrook on 12/26/13

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.

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