Sunday, November 10, 2013

Dr. Pamela Gay receives standing ovation at Clow UFO Base

File photo of Dr. Pamela Gay by BDEngler.
By Reporter X

SIUE astronomy Professor Dr. Pamela Gay received a standing ovation during her surprise appearance at Clow UFO Base’s Sagan Day Celebration.  It was her first appearance at the base since the 2010 Pamela Gay Riot, and her first covert appearance since she wrote a blog post detail the pushback she received following her TAM 2012 speech about the sexual harassment she’s experienced in the scientific and skeptical communities.

“We love you Dr. Gay!”  Shouted an anonymous Clow staff member.

Gay wiped away tears as stood at the podium.  “Thank you.”  She finally said.  “This has been a very difficult time for my husband and me.  So I am very surprised and thankful to see that I have supporters across the galaxy.  My husband will be too.”

Gay gave a short speech detailing her work to raise public awareness of science, include CosmoQuest, where the public can help astronomers analyze photographs.  She also mentioned her podcasting work at Astronomy Quest and 365 Days of Astronomy.  

“Carl believed strongly public science education.  I’m sure if he were here today he would be please with what is happening with social media, and be very happy to see Cosmos remade for the 21st century!”

After the aliens gave her a second sanding ovation, Skepchick Nichole, and David Z. Park of The Committee for Skeptical Inquiry, approached Gay.

Nichole said, “As you now know, Skepchick and CSI represent the skeptical movement to the interstellar community.  We got together and I’m pleased to tell you that you are now a level 2 skeptic.  That means you are allowed to know the truth about aliens on Earth.  Plus you have regular access to Clow UFO Base.”

Park added, “Not only that, but we’ve made arrangements for you to take a summer field trip to a RR Lyrae star!”

Later, Loagos, a scientist from KOI-1686, apologized to Gay for participating in the 2010 riot against her.

“We were so focused on your religious beliefs, that we could not see the truly wicked people within Earth’s skeptical movement.  They do real harm to the cause of teaching critical thinking to humanity.  Please forgive me.”

Gay forgave the rioter.

Bolingbrook Mayor and Lead Administrator Roger Claar also addressed Gay and the crowd.

“Thank you for your speech today.  Also, on an unrelated note, I just got out of a meeting with the staff’s union representatives.  After a personal review of their complaints and of the visual evidence, I am announcing that Michael Shermer is banned from Clow UFO Base!”

The crowd gave Claar a standing ovation.

After the speech, Gay was escorted to a meeting with representatives of the New World Order to talk about securing covert funds for her science outreach programs.  She could not be reached for comment.

Also in The Babbler:

Republican stunned to get coverage from Illinois Healthcare Exchange
Study: Millions infected with Internet Memes
Claar denounces getting news from smart phones

God to smite Bolingbrook on 11/13/13

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.

No comments: