Sunday, August 18, 2013

Area 51 Extreme Aerobatics Team impresses at Bolingbrook Jubilee

By Reporter X

The Area 51 Extreme Aerobatics Team performed over the Bolingbrook Jubilee 2013 on Friday and Saturday. 

“The Area 51 Team rarely performs outside of Nevada.”  Said Mayor Roger Claar.  “I had to call in a lot of favors to get them here.  After last night’s show, I’d say it was worth it!”

Attendees who looked up into the sky during the Jubilee were treated to dancing light displays, faster than light aerial maneuvers, and demonstrations of the latest in alien spacecraft technology. 

“It was amazing to see what their crafts are capable of doing.”  Said Charlotte X. Muler of Bolingbrook.  “One craft seemed to split into five, then darted off faster than I could blink.  Then seconds later, they came back and formed a single craft again.  It was so distracting that I missed out on winning the Bolingbrook Jaycees Bingo game.  Still, it was worth it!”

Donna L. Parkerson said she was “blown away” by the show.  “I can’t wait to tell the people at Aerial Phenomena what I saw!  I know they’ll feature my story on their web page.” 

Some fortunate attendees were “abducted” and given a free ride on board one of the new triangle UFOs.

“It was weird.”  Said Paula, who asked that we not use her last name.  “I was looking out the window as we were doing all these crazy loops, yet I felt just fine.  Like we weren’t moving all.  My guide said it was due to the advanced gravity and inertia compensators.  I say, it was just weird, but I did like the ride.  Glad they didn’t stick a probe in me!”

After Friday’s performances, team members visited Claar’s VIP lounge and talked about the team.  The team currently consists of aliens form over 40 solar systems.  The team started in 1990 as tourists started to flock to the public lands outside of Area 51.

“Back then, most of our landings and takeoffs were very basic.”  Said Gleen Gost, Captain of the team.  “Then I decided to put on a show for the tourists.  As you humans like to say, the rest is history.”

The team now performs every night at Area 51, while some members will very rarely travel to other UFO bases around the world.

“I love my job.”  Said pilot Gasda Sogos.  “The best part is when I listen to the tourists, and someone claims to have a telepathic connection with me.  I don’t, but I’ll do some tricks to convince them that I am.  Humans can be so gullible sometimes.”

Sources say that the team will perform Sunday night to close the Jubilee.

Also in The Babbler:

Manchester Mumbler: Authorities release the Beast of Trowbridge
Donald Trump fails to buy the Moon
NWO suspends Michael Shermer following incident at Clow UFO Base party
God to smite Bolingbrook on 8/21/13

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.

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