Monday, June 17, 2013

Web Exclusive: Skepchick Network upgraded to interstellar skeptical ambassador organization

By Reporter X

The Skepchick Network, founded by controversial skeptic Rebecca Watson, and The Center for Skeptical Inquiry will now represent the skeptical movement to the Interstellar community.

The Interstellar Alliance for the Advancement of Science announced the decision following an emergency meeting at Bolingbrook’s Clow UFO Base.  Skepchick will represent the feminist faction of the skeptical movement.  CSI, and it’s parent organization, The Center for Inquiry, will represent the “true skeptics”/antifeminism faction.  This is the first time Earth’s skeptical movement has been represented by two different organizations at the same time.

“It is our opinion that your so-called ‘deep rifts’ will not be resolved within the next 500 years.”  Said IAAS president Glo Po’got.  “We can no longer pretend that one organization represents the majority of skeptics.  Instead we will coordinate our efforts with the two major organizations on each side of the rift.”

Po’got said the decision was reached following a statement released by CFI’s board of directors regarding their controversial “Women in Secularism Conference.”  Leading up to the conference, secular antifeminists flooded the event’s Twitter hashtags with attacks aginst the conference, and its speakers.  One even tried to get the Westboro Baptist Church to protest the event.  During the opening of the conference, CFI’s CEO Ron Lindsay  opened the event, not by welcoming the attendees, but instead accusing them of using the theory of “privilege” to silence men.  After his speech, Lindsay then spent the rest of the conference engaged in an Internet Flame War with Watson.  

In response, CFI’s board of directors expressed it’s “unhappiness” that the event was controversial.  

Angered by CFI’s lack of an apology, Watson announced a boycott of CFI, and author Greta Christina severed almost all ties to CFI.

Said Po’got, “It is sad to see your movement divided again, but like a severed bock fish to a gloop, we will work together to teach humanity to understand science and embrace critical thinking.

Watson, who was also at the press conference, announced that Skepchick would have consulates every UFO base on Earth.  

“We have some awesome people read to staff these posts.”  Said Watson.  “Our staff will represent the diversity of humanity.”  Watson also announced that she was planning on adding a ninth blog to her network, Skepchick Milky Way.

“Milky, if I can call it that, will bring together the best extraterrestrial bloggers to teach high security clearance skeptics how to overcome it’s privilege and embrace universal social justice.”

She concluded by saying that one of her first acts would be to restore PZ Myers’s Alpha 1 Security Clearance.

A spokesperson from CSI stated that they were happy to keep their ambassador organization status, and promised to work with Skepchick, “As long as Ron doesn’t find out about it.”

A spokesperson for the New World Order, which manages Earth’s UFO bases, promised to secure both organizations consulates.  Harassment from either side, she added, would not be tolerated.

“Operative Jeff Wagg said that the future of skepticism is factionalism.  While we wish it wasn’t true, the NWO will make sure that all skeptical factions can coexist peacefully at our facilities.”

Po’Got concluded the press conference by saying that more skeptical organizations could be granted ambassador status in the future, including the James Randi Education Foundation.

“If they pay off their debt, and can show up they can make regular payments in the future, we will consider reinstating them as an ambassador organization.”

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.

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