Sunday, April 21, 2013

Mayor Claar starts investigation into why Clow officials ignored a time traveler’s warning

By Reporter X

Bolingbrook Mayor Roger Claar is demanding answers into why he wasn’t informed about a time traveler’s warning.

“It would have been nice to have advanced warning about the flooding, the Boston Marathon bombing, the Ricin letters, the Texas explosion and the shutting down of an entire city!”  Said Claar to the gathered members of the interstellar press corps.  “We could have evacuated the animal shelter earlier, and I could have made a donation to the Red Cross in advance!”

Donald Z. Parker, an official with the Department of Paranormal Affairs, explained during the conference that a time traveler from the year 2113 appeared in Bolingbrook on April 12.  The traveler was apprehended within 15 minutes of his arrival, and taken to Clow UFO Base.  He was then questioned by Clow’s temporal officers.

“We have very strict policies regarding temporal intruders.”  Said Parker.  “We can’t just let anyone alter the course of time.”

According to Parker, the traveler was trying arrive in Boston, but miscalculated the position of the Earth, and arrived in Bolingbrook instead.  Parker also added that the traveler did not provide any proof that the events of the following week would happen.

“We cannot assume that any traveler from the future is telling the truth.”  Said Parker.  “While there are benevolent travelers, there are also people who are trying to manipulate time for their own personal needs.  As an officially sanctioned New World Order Temporal Protection Facility, Clow Temporal Officers are obligated to fully investigate any claim before making recommendations.”

Said Claar, “While I understand the importance of protecting the time line, some where along the line, we had a communication breakdown.  As in someone should have told me about the investigation!  Then I could have reassured my village that the world wasn’t ending!”

Parker added that the investigation was further complicated by the time traveler disappearing from existence two days before the bombing.

“The traveler told us that the mayor was about to receive a threatening letter.  We were able to intercept that letter.  Unfortunately, intercepting that letter started a chain of event that destroyed that incarnation of the time traveler.  In other worlds, we couldn’t ask him questions.”

Parker explained that the preliminary investigation shows that the investigators were reluctant to disclose their findings to Claar.

“At the time, it did seem far fetched that so many events would happen in one week.”

Claar promised he would not be too harsh on any one who voluntarily appeared before the formal investigation committee.

“Something needs to be fixed!  If someone is going to travel 100 years into the past, I want to know why!  Directives be damned!”

Also in The Babbler:

Aliens praised for rescue efforts in Bolingbrook
Giant lung fishes spotted in Bolingbrook
Skeptic Brian Dunning will not be imprisoned on Mars
God to spare Bolingbrook this week.

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.

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