Monday, December 10, 2012

Web Exclusive: Mayor Claar slams Russian Prime Minister over UFO disclosure

By Reporter X

Bolingbrook mayor and Clow UFO Base administrator Roger Claar slammed Russian Prime Minister Dmitri Medvedev for revealing the presence of extraterrestrials on Earth.

“Are you (Expletive Deleted) nuts?”  Ask Claar in an e-mail exchange with the prime minister.  “You don’t tell mainstream reporters the truth about extraterrestrials!  They’ll report it!”

Medvedev countered that Claar speaks with The Babbler’s reporters all the time, and no harm has come from it.

“No one believes The Babbler!”  Claar replied.  “They only get significant attention outside of Bolingbrook is when a prominent skeptic debunks them!”

Medvedev replied, “No one believes our media either, and if there is a risk of being believed, we have ways of controlling our media.”

Claar exclaimed that while Medevdev could control state media, the story was already spreading around the world.  Claar added that the leak was making his job as the administrator of the largest urban UFO base in the world much harder.

“You would have to shutdown Google and Gmail to suppress this story.”

“Thanks for your suggestion.”  Replied Medevdev.

While Google experienced a mysterious outage of G-mail and other services on Monday, the story is still spreading on the Internet.

When asked to comment, Claar replied, “I don’t know about your UFO story.  I do know that our library is a great backup when ever Google goes down.  Do you realize that you can look up maps and information without a computer?  It’s amazing!”

A spokesperson for the prime minister said that if The Babbler's staff didn't want to wake up with radiation poisoning, this reporter should stop asking questions.

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.

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