Sunday, October 14, 2012

Web Exclusive: Mayor Rahm Emanuel to proclaim ‘Ghost Appreciation’ week

Sources say that Mayor Rahm Emanuel will embrace Chicago’s haunted heritage and proclaim Halloween week, “Chicago Ghost Appreciation Week.”
“This can only be good for business.”  Said Sandy Z. Mitchelson, owner of Windy City Ghostly Tours.  “It means city will fully embrace our contribution to the tourism industry, instead of ignoring us."

Source who have seen the proclamation claims that Chicago “has the largest active undead population in the Midwest,” and asks tourists to keep an open mind so “they can catch a glimpse of the thriving necropolis that coexists with us.”

Chicago police officers, who asked not be identified, say they’re telling local skeptics to “tone down the debunking,” and will issue an arrest warrant for famed skeptic Joe Nickell to prevent any “public debunkings.”

“Most of the skeptics will be in Nashville for the CSI conference.”  Said one officer.  “They shouldn’t be a problem this Halloween.”

When asked to comment, Emanuel replied.  “I used to hate you guys, but now I realize that you bring in the gullible tourists.  The more gullible tourists you attract to Chicago, the less taxes I’ll have to raise on the residents.  Keep up the good work, and write more critical articles on Occupy Chicago!”

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.

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