Friday, September 14, 2012

Naperville Christian outraged over new Patheos blogger

The Patheos religious blog network’s newest atheist blog could become the center of controversy.  

Jan Z. Baker says is outraged by the selection of Dan Fincke, a former member of the controversial Freethought Blogs network and professor of philosophy.

“His blog is called Camels with Hammers!’ Camels can’t use hammers!  So I had to investigate!”

Baker claims the blog used to be called, Hitting Camels with Hammers but the name was secretly changed.

“That title makes more sense and is consistent with the evil that is atheism!”

When asked for proof, Baker points to the Internet.  While the old title has been scrubbed from Google, “A certain Internet forum” knows the truth.

Explains Baker, “I stumbled upon a forum that I’m not allowed to name.  I asked them if the name of Dan’s blog used to be Hitting Camels with Hammers.  They said yes!”

She also cited this forum post.

If telling you that his blog used to be called “Hitting Camels with Hammers” will make you hate Dan Fincke as much as we do, then yes!  It was called Hitting Camels with Hammers.”

Baker says she plans on starting a Internet petition demanding his removal from Patheos.

“My new Internet male friends say they can’t wait to sign it.” She replied.  “They’re also teaching me things.  Like, did you know that FTB really stands for Free From Thought Blogs?”

She added that’s she’s not against atheists on Patheos, “but they should have stopped after getting that friendly atheist guy.  I don’t care if he is a friendly heathen, he’s still going to Hell!”

She concluded that her love of Christ and camels compels her to act.

When reached by e-mail, Fincke denied that his blog had a different name, and said he had nothing against camels.

“The name comes from Nietzsche’s work.  You would know that if you had read my blog.”

Fincke then e-mailed a large text file to this reporter.

Please review all of my rules of polite Internet conversation before sending me another e-mail.  Even the slightest violation will result in deletion!  Someday, everyone will follow these rules!”

As of this writing, The Babbler’s team of lawyers and philosophers were still reviewing these rules and debating their merits.

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.

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