Sunday, May 6, 2012

Sources: Ron Paul to hijack Electoral College

Losing the popular vote and the Republican nomination may not stop Rep. Ron Paul from becoming President.

Sources with friends with relatives with connections to the Paul campaign say if their efforts to win over delegates before the convention fail, they will try to convert electors in the Electoral College instead.  While the sources are confident Paul can win the nomination, they also have confident in case they have to use “Plan D.”

“It’s not about winning millions of votes.”  Said John, who asked not to be identified.  “It’s about convincing 270 electors that Ron Paul is the best man for the job.”

According to the sources, the Paul campaign will support the Mitt Romney in the general election to secure as many Republican electors as possible.  Behind the scenes, the campaign will point out Romney’s flaws to the electors and remind them that they don’t have to vote for Romney.

While some states punish “faithless” electors, the sources argue the Republican electors technically wouldn’t be faithless.

“The people voted for a Republican President.”  Said Will, another source who asked not to be named.  “We don’t have faith that Mitt will govern as a Republican.  So casting a vote for Mitt would technically be a faithless vote.  Now with Ron Paul, you can have faith that he will be a traditional Republican.  So really, if the electors don’t want to violate their state’s laws, they have to vote for Paul.”

John added that if Paul needed “democrat” electors to win the election, those electors still wouldn’t be considered “faithless.”

“Who knows what the Democrat party stands for and who they really want?  There’s no way a court could convict a democrat elector of being faithless.  How can you be faithful to a faithless party?”

If Paul loses the Electoral College, even that might not prevent a Paul Presidency.

“We have plans all the way up to Z!”  Said Will.  “We are going to pull this country back to the founding principles of liberty, and if we have to bypass the popular vote, we will!”

A local Republican official doesn’t take the threat seriously.

“Ron is just trying to get his son on the Romney ticket.”  Said the source.  “That is not going to happen.  I will be Vice-president before Rand Paul is.  And don’t use my name if you’re going to quote me!”

When reached for comment, Paul said, “I read your paper all the time.  You guys really need to focus less on aliens, and more on the NAFTA Superhighway!  Heck, maybe you can say that aliens forced the US off the gold standard.  Oh, and let me give a shout out to my favorite Iowa supporter, Angie, before I hang up.”

Also in The Babbler:

Bolingbrook holds strong against Soviet cooling ray attack
Village allocates zero funds for remote viewing
No Super-moon injuries reported in Bolingbrook
God to smite Bolingbrook on 5/9/12

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.

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