By Reporter X
The Clow UFO Base Court of Extraterrestrial Affairs in the 109,298,291 Circuit refused to hear a petition filed on behalf of George D. Smith, 65, of Bolingbrook.
“Once again,” Wrote Judge Kilos Surgon, “This court cannot take Earth cases unless they have a clear connection to interstellar law. Saying the petitioner might have transported freight indirectly derived from covert agreements with the New World Order does not mean his covered under the Interstellar Transporter Treaty of 35,001 GCE.”
Smith is charged with felony attempted child abduction, and is currently in jail pending payment of a $100,000 bond. Smith allegedly attempted to lure an 11 year old girl into his truck on 2/17/12. He was initially charged with disorderly conduct and released on bond. On April 4, the charge was dismissed at the request of the Will County State’s Attorney’s Office. On April 5, Smith was arrested on the felony charge.
Supporters of Smith suspect that the charges were filed because he is member of The Watch Dogs of Bolingbrook, and has spoken at village board meetings.
The interstellar suit, filed by The Number Crunchers Clow, claims that Smith’s interstellar rights against “excessive prosecution” were being violated. Since Smith’s disorderly conduct charge was dismissed, he should not be tried again for the same event.
“Even Wikipedia gets this. ‘Jeopardy ‘attaches’ when the jury impanelled, the first witness is sworn, or a plea is accepted.’ This was clearly did not happen when the initial charge was dismissed by the state. Instead, the state changed its mind about what charge to press against Smith.”
Surgon added, “We are confident that he will get a fair hearing within US court system. There is no need for this court to intervene.”
Quatu, lawyer for NCC, said he was disappointed in the ruling.
“George Smith likes to help people! Right now I’ll bet he is helping people in prison! So it is sad that this judge won’t help him in return.”
Quatu called for human political activists of all sides to take up Smith’s cause.
“No matter the subject of your event, insist that there be speakers, signs and posters in support of George! If George is to have a chance at justice, ‘Free George’ must become a more popular slogan than ‘Free Mumia!’”
Also in The Babbler:
Occupy protestors fail to take over Chicago on April 7
Weredeer ask Claar to ban Bigfoot from Bolingbrook
Cubs games dropped from Interstellar TV
God to smite Bolingbrook on 4/13/12
Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.