Sunday, February 26, 2012

Clow UFO Base officials review security procedures following YouTube UFO landing video

By Reporter X

A YouTube video of a UFO landing in New Mexico is prompting a security review at Bolingbrook’s Clow UFO base.

“I can’t go into too many details,” said an anonymous source, “but either the ship’s cloaking field failed, or the camera person somehow managed to get past the base’s cloaking shields.”

The video, uploaded to YouTube on 2/20/12, is footage from a car chasing a descending UFO.  After several seconds, the UFO stops, and then lands behind a building.  The camera person manages to get a close up of the craft before it was obscured.

Sources tell The Babbler that UFO Bases around the world are reviewing their cloaking fields, and examining their security perimeters.  

“We’re the largest urban UFO base in the world.”  Said John, who asked that we not use his last name.  “We can’t afford to have a breach like this.  There would be more than 5 videos of the object, and we couldn’t pass it off as CGI.  We could be lucky in this case because there is only one video of the craft.”

Part of the security review involves randomly asking residents if they can see a craft near Clow.  Donald Parker, a long time Bolingbrook resident, claims he was at the stoplight on Boughton and Weber RD, and saw man wearing a dark coat and “enhanced sunglasses” tapped on his window.

“This big man pointed towards the sky, and asked if I could see anything.  I said no, just the sky.  He smiled and said, ‘Good answer!’”

Deanna Carter, also of Bolingbrook, said she was shopping that the Promenade when a security officer pointed at an airplane flying above.

“He asked if I noticed anything unusual about the craft.  I said no.  He said, ‘Good answer.’”

In additional to quizzing residents, Clow officials are also inspecting the cloaking devices of all ships.

“I realize this is happening at all bases, but it is still ridiculous!”  Said Bao Woli of GJ 1214D.  “Even though the video quality is poor, I can clearly see the US Air Force symbol on the craft.  It is obviously a human-Commonbeing hybrid craft!  We are being inconvenienced because your civilization hasn’t perfected our cloaking technology!”

In additional to the global security review, the skeptical movement is mobilizing to “debunk” the UFO video.

Sharon Hill of the Doubtful News wrote, “ It’s a hoax to get web hits. Their Facebook site is a joke. But, it has over 5000 “likes” and the video is popular. I sort of fear that even though people suspect these things are not real, they see them often enough and become complacent. And, they pass it to their friends, some of which really do accept them as real.”

YouTube skeptics have also noted that the landscape resembles Northern Europe, not the Southwest desert.  It is possible, some experts say, that the grounds within the cloaking field have more moisture than the surrounding area.

Sources with connections to the New World Order say there is a search to find the people who made the video.  Because they are confident the video will be “debunked,” there are no plans to have the video pulled.

When asked to comment, Mayor Roger Claar replied, “You know, I should arrange for a campaign stop in New Mexico.  I’m sure there are plenty of constituents vacationing there, and they would like to hear me talk against a beautiful desert background!”

Also in The Babbler:

Winged Bigfoot spotted in Lisle
Mayor Emanuel: I don’t see Chicago mentioned in the First Amendment!
Fermilab warns their neutrinos not to exceed the speed of light
God to smite Bolingbrook on 3/1/12

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.

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