By Reporter X
Bolingbrook’s Men in Blue arrested an alien suspected of being the “The Katrina Abductor.” He is suspected of abducting New Orleans residents during Hurricane Katrina.
“Our agents identified themselves to the suspect, and he was arrested without incident.” Said Donna K. Smith, spokesperson for the Bolingbrook’s Department of Interstellar Affairs. “There is no truth to the rumor that we were disappointed in his surrender, and we were not going to test a new death ray on him.”
The suspect, Que Gai from Alpha Centauri, waved to interstellar reporters as he was escorted to a cell.
“I have nothing to be ashamed of!” Exclaimed Gai. “History will vindicate me!”
He waved at five cheering supporters, before stepping into the holding area.
“He saved lives.” Said Sargos, who asked that we not identify his planet or use his other four name parts. “There was no reason for your New World Order to impose a no-fly zone during the hurricane. We could have saved lives if they had let us.”
“Valuable humans were drowning!” Exclaimed Staco Pasca. “They shot their noise makers into the air to cry out for help. Instead of helping, your rescuers hid in fear. I wish I had been as brave as Gai was. I like my life, but so do the humans he saved.”
Smith, during the press conference, asked the media to listen to both sides.
“The ‘Katrina Abductor’ kidnapped New Orleans residents during a stressful event, and asked them to become permanent test subjects. The middle of a Category 5 hurricane is no time to get a consent scan. He exploited his victims.”
A member of Gai’s legal team would neither confirm nor deny if his client is the abductor. He did say that the no-fly zone was unlawful, and any violations were justified.
“If my client had flown into Katrina, he did so in a craft that could fly inside The Great Red Spot. So he was justified in trying to save intelligent beings from crudely maintained levees.”
To date, none of the Abductor’s subjects have been located. Authorities hope to use enhanced interrogation to find their location. They hope to return the subjects to society after altering their memories.
“No one should have to choose between drowning or being a lab rat!” Said Smith.
Update: Gai was found guilty in 2007, and exiled from Earth. His subjects were found on Mars. Three decided to say on Mars, while the rest were returned to New Orleans.
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