Friday, November 11, 2011

The Lost Years 2004: Bolingbrook Community Television bans “Fishing Boat” political ads

The mayoral election isn’t until 2005, but Bolingbrook Community Television has already banned 10 attack ads against Mayor Roger Claar.

The ads, produced by a group called Fishermen for Bolingbrook, are narrated by alleged former fishing buddies.  In the ads, the alleged buddies attack Claar’s devotion to Bolingbrook.

“I heard Roger talking about a fish he caught.”  Said alleged buddy Paul.  “He put his hands out this far to describe how big the fish was.  I was there.  I saw that fish.  He could have stretched his hands out much further.  So I wonder.  If he won’t stretch just a few more inches for a fish, will he also refuse to go the extra mile for Bolingbrook?  Bolingbrook deserves a mayor who will do more for Bolingbrook.  Roger won’t do that.”

In another ad, John, an alleged friend, questions Claar’s sanity.  

“We were in our fishing boat on Hidden Lakes.”  Said John.  “Roger told me that in four years, a lake would appear next to Royce Road.  Now I don’t know about you, but lakes just don’t suddenly appear.  I like my friend Roger, but I question his judgment.  So next year, I’m not going to vote for him, and I urge you to do the same.  Maybe he’ll get the help he needs.”

According to village officials, it is illegal to put a boat on Hidden Lakes.

A spokesperson for BCTV explained the bans.

“For some reason, the producers keep submitting videos that aren’t broadcast quality.  There are people who watch our channel, and we owe it to them to show videos that are more than moving blobs of color.”

Some sources within BCTV disagree.  The videos are broadcast quality, but the Village told BCTV not to show the videos.

Said one source, “The village has the right to refuse to show videos on BCTV.  So obviously a video attacking the mayor won’t be allowed to air.”

Another source said that Claar isn’t aware of the videos, but Village Clerk Carol Penning, is.

“I was looking for Roger.”  Said the source.  “Instead, I saw Carol, and told her about the first video.  She just smiled and pointed to her What Would Roger Do bracelet.  We got the message.”

Penning refused to be interviewed.

When this reporter tried to call Claar for a comment, his receptionist said he was busy. 

In the background, a man who sounded like Claar yelled, “Back off Karl!  Or I’ll tell the world you’re an atheist.  I mean it.”  He paused and then added, “I don’t practice golf everyday!”  Later, he continued, “No one is running against me in 2005.”  Then he finally said, “Fine!  I dare you to run a candidate against me in 2009!”

The Babbler could not locate the producers of the ads.  The cell phone number for one of the producers is from the Washington, DC area.

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.

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