Monday, July 4, 2011

Web Exclusive: Richard Dawkins to unveil new book at TAM 9

Sources with friends of relatives close to The JREF say that Richard Dawkins will officially unveil the title of his next book at The Amazing Meeting 9 next week.

The sources say that the new book will be called, “The Lucifer Lunacy” and will argue against the existence of the devil.

“It is true that more people have been killed in the name of God, than in the name of Satan.” Reads an alleged excerpt of Dawkins’s keynote speech. “However given the number of so-called atheists who call themselves Satanists, I have to take time away from warning the world about Islam to address this nonsense. Some of these so-called atheists even practice so called left-hand path magic. Well we all know what the left hand is good for, and there’s no time for that while Islam is still a viable religion. Satanism is a lunacy and we must purge it from our ranks!”

Paul X. Crowen of the Temple of Set denounced Dawkins’s upcoming book.

“Isn’t the Kennedy Expressway proof enough of his infernal design?” Ask Crowen. Crowen then threatened to use magic on Dawkins.

“If anything bad happens to Richard, he will know that it was by my will that it happened!”

When asked to comment, Dawkin’s replied, “I will use this time to make a point. You are the most annoying reporter I have ever met. It is people like you that give the media a bad name. Yet even I do not wish to see you burn forever in hell. Remember that the next time someone says atheists are intolerant. Now if you will excuse me, I have to convince the world that Islam is one of the greatest evils! I have no time for you or for two whining white female bloggers!”

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.

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