Monday, July 11, 2011

Letters to the Editor: 7/11/11

Reader’s Editor, Doug Fields here. It’s quiet here in the office as most staff is off to infiltrate The Amazing Meeting 9. So it means that I’m minding the office, and it’s your turn to fill the our weekly blog post with your letters.

Let me say that I most disappointed in our readers this week. Most of them wanted to talk about elevator guy. Why Bolingbrook’s residents want to talk about a socially awkward atheist in Dublin, Ireland is beyond me. Maybe this is PZ Myers’s idea of a joke?

We did get a couple letters of interest regarding elevators though.

To the Editor: 
Did you know that women are more likely to be hit on by a skeptic in a pub than they are to be hit upon by a skeptic in an elevator? It’s true. Yet followers of Rebecca Watson are frightening women from taking elevators. If they had their way, it will soon be illegal to make buildings that are over three stories tall.
The elevator industry employes over 20,000 people, who contribute to our economy. Many of these elevators have video cameras, adding an extra degree of safety to an already safe form of transportation. Plus elevators reduce the amount of stress women put on their legs, adding years of mobility to their lives.
Do you want to go back to the days of dark, dangerous stairwells? Rebecca may want to, but we don’t. 
Tell your Congressperson that you oppose any effort to ban elevators. Elevators don’t creep out women. Creepy men do! 
Don X. Paulson
Spokesperson for the National Elevator Association
Chicago, IL

Then we got this letter:

To the Editor: 
It’s only a matter of time before Mayor Roger Claar gets a space elevator built in Bolingbrook. After what happened to Rebecca Watson, will the village do anything to protect women who are stuck with a creepy guy 12 miles above the Earth? 
I recently filed a FOIA request to find out, and so far the village hasn’t replied. What is Roger hiding? Does he not care about the safety of women trapped in space elevators? 
I hope Bonnie and her friends at the Watch Dogs of Bolingbrook will look into this as well. I think this is just as important as how Valley View treats its students! 
I want Bolingbrook to be a leader in space elevator safety before something terrible happens! 
Paula D. Fredrick
Bolingbrook, IL

Finally, we got this letter:

To the Editor: 
Enough of the $5 Dollar Challenge! The SGU doesn’t want to hear about it. My life was so much better before I saw your video. Leave Steve alone! Skeptics are awesome! Why do you doubt them? I hope you die while taking a homeopathic high blood pressure sugar pill! 
Name Withheld
The Internet

If you life depends on five East Coast skeptics telling you what to think, then don’t let us stop you.

As for the rest of Bolingbrook, we stand by our stories, and the fact that The Skeptics Guide to the Universe won’t challenge us is proof that we can’t be debunked.

On that note, don’t forget to check out our web page this week for updates from TAM 9. You can also get Anti-psychic Kitty’s running commentary on Twitter @bolingbrookbabb. It will be the only place on the Internet where you can get the unbelievable truth about this event!

Also in The Babbler:

Illinois rejects per minute tax on Internet usage
Chicago ghost union votes to accept city contract
Claar orders crackdown on time travelers
God to smite Bolingbrook on 7/15/11

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.

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