|Is Mishy, "The lame lake monster" in this photograph?|
An eyewitness, who asked not to be identified, said he saw a tractor trailer park next Lake Geneva. The trailer was surrounded by Chicago police officers. The witness said he then saw Mayor Rahm Emanuel walk up to the trailer open a slide panel.
“He said, ‘These are hard times, and everyone has to earn their keep. We can’t afford to have Mishy the Lame Lake Monster. You need to be more visible in order to attract tourists. My friend is going to teach you how to be a decent lake monster, because we can’t afford to keep you in Shedd Aquarium.’”
The source added that the police officers opened the trailer and “dumped a black blob into the water.”
Bob K. Shellington, a Chicago resident vacationing on the lake, claims he noticed something unusual.
“There was this bearded man in a row boat with a woman. He seemed really (expletive deleted).”
According to Shellington, the man yelled, “You look like a dead log. Move around like I taught you!” The man started splashing water with his paddle. “I said move!”
The woman complained, “Honey, I’m glad you’re taking your new job seriously, but please don’t splash me. You’ll ruin my Droid.”
Michele Lowman, a Lake Geneva resident, also had an unusual encounter with the bearded man.
“I was sitting on my lawn watching the lake path tourists go by. This guy stopped in the middle of the path. It was odd that he was wearing a wetsuit, but you know how tourists are. Anyway, then he yelled, ‘You look like a boat wake! Do the neck trick I taught you!’ I didn’t see anything.”
According to Lowman, the man later jumped into the water started swimming. When he started bobbing in the water, the man yelled, “You’re just making me look like I’m playing in the water. Show your head!”
Said Lowman, “I might have seen something in the water, for a second, but it didn’t last. The man came out of the water, and said something about this was going to be a tough case. I told him to keep walking, and he did. Not before he told me to visit Chicago in July. Whatever. I have better things to do with my time than be assaulted by flash mobs.”
Sources with relatives in city government say Mishy is being trained to be “more visible.” The hope is he will attract more tourists and then the tourists will visit the proposed casino.
When asked to comment, Emanuel replied, “I’m starting to like the idea of an annoying reporter tax.”
Sources say Mishy should be returned to Lake Michigan in time for Taste of Chicago. The Babbler encourages Chicago readers to report any sightings of Mishy.
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