Sunday, May 1, 2011

Subliminal messages discovered in library logo!

Enhanced image of the Fountaindale Logo
The Babbler has learned that there are subliminal messages in the Fountaindale Public Library logo.

A Bolingbrook resident, who asked to be called Martin, claims he discovered the messages a year ago.

“I just looked at the new logo, and I was blown away!” Said Martin. “I saw the messages as clear as day.” Martin says he tired tell the The Bolingbrook Reporter, The Bolingbrook Bugle, The Bolingbrook Sun, and The Brook Report before going to The Babbler.

“No offense, but I wanted to be taken seriously. That wouldn’t have happened if I went to you guys first.”

Instead of being taken seriously, Martian instead gained the nickname among mainstream reporters as “The Subliminal Guy.”

“That hurt my feelings.” Cried Martin. “So now I’m going to you guys to redeem myself! Only The Babbler can help me!”

Experts in the field of subliminal advertising examined the logo for the Babbler, and all agreed that there were subliminal messages in the logo.

Dr. Mandy X. Gay, says there are very clear subliminal messages in the logo.

“If you look at the so-called leaf, it is clearly a (expletive deleted.) Don’t get me started on the so called stems. I’m surprised that this was created for an elected body. This is clearly a call to (offensive act deleted)!”

Neil Dyson, PhD ABDAE, says this special Photoshop filters have uncovered textual and visual messages in the logo.

“In the sample image you sent me, I was able to uncover the words, ‘You know you want to check us out!’ And ‘Please give us more money!’”

An anonymous source within Fountaindale confirms that there are subliminal messages in the logo.

“We use the logo to run our subliminal campaigns.” Said the source. “So every few weeks we’ll change the message. That’s why its very important that we control all representations of our logo. In fact, we were concerned that didn’t have control of our logo on The Number Cruncher’s site. Fortunately the lawyers came up with the trademark letter to persuade Rhonda to pull the logo from her site.”

Another expert, Dr. Sean X. Parker, doubted the existence of the subliminal messages.

“If they are there, then the library is wasting their money.” Said Parker. “Subliminal advertising doesn’t work. Think about it. If I put up sign that says, ‘give the mayor all your money,’ Are you going to do that? The subconscious may be irrational, but it isn’t stupid.”

When asked to comment, a woman who claimed to be a spokesperson for Fountaindale denied there were messages in the logo, and added, “The Brook Report is in no position to lecture us about Copyright law!”

Also in The Babbler:

Bin Laden vows revenge before being dragged to hell
Ghost of Ayn Rand trashes ‘Atlas Shrugged’ movie
Aliens upset over closed SETI array
God to smite Bolingbrook on 5/3/11

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.

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