Monday, March 14, 2011

Web Exclusive! Anti-psychic kitty to attend TAM 9

The Babbler’s only skeptical columnist, Anti-psychic Kitty, will attend TAM 9 this July. He will also be live tweeting and live blogging the second largest gathering of skeptics in North America.

“I’m really looking forward to visiting my creators at The James Randi Educational Foundation. Especially James Randi! He’s like a father, a friend and a mad scientist!”

TAM 9, or The Amazing Meeting, will be held in Las Vegas’s South Point Hotel Casino and Spa. Speakers this year include, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Bill Nye, Adam Savage, Illinois professor Pamela Gay, atheist squid master PZ Myers, and local skeptic Elyse Anders.

“Because of Elyse’s cat allergy, I will have to wear an environmental suit outside of my suite. That’s OK, because I don’t like cigarette smoke. Still, I’m hoping that the suit will be as handsome as I am!”

Last year, Kitty caused controversy as the first non-human to address TAM. Many were doubtful that he could communicate by walking over a keyboard. Some were outraged when Kitty denounced Karen Stollznow for showing pictures of cats that look like Hitler during one of her presentations.

“I’m hoping to talk to Karen and work things out. While the skeptical community is growing, we should try to sincerely work out our differences.”

Kitty also denied rumors of inappropriate activities at the Skepchick party.

“All I did was drink cold water, meow, and rub against my new friends, male and female. That’s pretty normal for a cat to do to humans. I don’t know if they’re going to have a party this year, but I will be at the Penn and Teller party. Totally sober of course.”

Kitty is not on the main program, but is rumored to be a guest rouge at one of The Skeptics’ Guide to the Universe live taping.

“I think I can teach Dr. Steven Novella a thing or two about critical thinking!”

Because of Kitty’s power to kill anyone who uses psychic powers around him, Kitty will be a judge at the live Million Dollar Challenge.

“I’m just going to watch the applicant while they demonstrate their power. If they survive, then I’ll know they’re fake.” Said Kitty with a giggle.

JREF president DJ Grothe, says Kitty is always welcome at TAM. “It’s nice to know that even the most skeptical creature on Earth thinks TAM is a worthwhile way to spend four days in Las Vegas. Why give your money to the casino, when you can give it to us, and support our skeptical causes? Kitty knows that the registration fee only covers the convention. We still need more money to reach our ultimate goal of making the world skeptical of The Bolingbrook Babbler! Oh, did I think out loud?”

The JREF and The Babbler have joint custody of Kitty as part of a legal settlement in 2010. Kitty gets to visit the JREF once a year. He spends the rest of the year in Bolingbrook, away from psychics.

This year, Kitty may not be the only pet residing in The South Point. Dr. Gay’s dog may also be attending, according to some sources.”

“Don’t get me wrong.” Said Kitty, “I think dogs are OK, but do they really have to lick everything and everyone? I don’t mind if they lick themselves, and many of them should lick themselves more often. I can’t believe they need humans to clean them.”

Kitty does have one hope for the conference.

“I hope that skeptics will see that in the most skeptical place on Earth, there is one inescapable truth: IMSOCUTE!”

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.

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