Monday, December 6, 2010

Bolingbrook group blames Mayor Claar for Comcast outage

Did Mayor Roger Claar cause Comcast customers to lose internet access for several hours? The group, The Residents for Bolingbrook, says yes.

In a press release sent to The Babbler, the group claims that it is no coincidence that Comcast went down this weekend.

“Roger knew that The Brook Report receives thousands of hits a day!” Said the release. “The Brook Report says that’s more than any other paper in Bolingbrook. Since The Brook Report is reporting the truth, we know Roger doesn’t like that. He can’t intimidate The Brook Report, so we think it’s likely that he used his influence to shutdown Comcast! At a time when we desperately need to spread the truth about Roger Claar, Comcast failed us!”

A source at Comcast claims that Sunday’s connection problems were due to issues with their DNS server. While technically customers were connected to the Internet, they couldn’t go to any sites or pages. Customers either waited for Comcast to restore service, or used an alternative DNS server.

“It got so bad that we just had to turn off the phones and use a recorded message.” Said the Comcast source. “Personally, I think we should just stick with recorded messages. It will greatly improve our reputation for customer service.”

When asked to comment, Claar replied, “I didn’t even know the internet was down yesterday! I rarely use the Internet at home. Even then it’s for legitimate purposes! Why don’t you blame the space aliens for this?”

A source at Clow UFO base said they are conducting an investigation, but doubt that aliens were involved.

When asked to comment, someone at The Brook Report apparently said they were conducting their own investigation, and suspected Mafia involvement, “In this and other crimes against Bonnie.” The source said they were working with the FBI, CIA, and “Inter Poll” to uncover “Roger’s international corruption!”

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.

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