According a leaked script, host Brian Dunning will be taking a “skeptical” look at our stories.
“UFO Bases in Chicago? A swamp monster in the suburbs? Men in Blue? These are the so-called unbelievable truths uncovered by The Bolingbrook Babbler. But are they true? Let’s take a closer look.”
In the script, Dunning attacks almost every major story uncovered by The Babbler. He takes special aim at Clow UFO base.
“Bolingbrook is supposed to be the home of the world’s largest urban UFO base. You would expect to see an above average number of UFO sightings in the area, yet a brief survey of the UFO literature shows very few references to Bolingbrook. Now which is more likely? That UFO groups, like MUFON, are involved in the cover up, or Clow UFO Base is so unbelievable, that’s it's just not true?”
Dawn X Weagle, who claims to work for MUFON, denies that the group is involved in a cover up.
“If you guys would take the time to fill out the online form, we would be happy to put your sightings on file.”
Later in the script, Dunning lists stories that he says The Babbler should be focusing on.
“The Babbler should be focusing on more important issues like Bolingbrook’s 11.75 percent sales tax rate, the drive by shooting by their high school, politicians who use taxpayer dollars to get drunk, illegal public nuisance laws, a public luxury golf club, and the combined effort of Mayor Roger Claar, Topix.com, and the mob to drive a simple housewife with a PhD ABD out of town!”
The source who leaked this script to The Babbler confessed that mainly used The Brook Report as his primary source for information about Bolingbrook.
“Brian was on a tight deadline, and we had podcasts to produce.” Said the source. “So I mainly used Junk Science for my DDT script, and The Brook Report for The Babbler podcast. Hey, we also needed to get ready for our debate with Rebecca Watson. Did I say debate? I meant joint appearance!”
When pressed, the source confessed that it might have been better to use more sources for his scripts. “Brian has really taken a hit on the DDT podcast. Bug Girl, Deltoid, and even Orac are slamming him hard. Brian is kind of embarrassed by the whole thing. He shouldn’t be. We’re humans. We heard something we liked, and we made the mistake of not looking at it closer. I think he should just come clean.”
Instead, the source admitted that he may no longer be working with Dunning, and doesn’t know when or if The Babbler podcast will run.
When The Babbler reached Dunning, who was in Australia for TAM OZ, he hung up the phone three times. On the fourth call, Dunning denied knowing the source, or planning a podcast about The Babbler. He also defended his DDT podcast.
“You can challenge my facts, but you can’t challenge my opinion!” Exclaimed Dunning. “We should be using DDT in Africa!”
“You shouldn’t be giving interviews when you’re suffering from jet lag.” Came a woman’s voice.
Dunning ignored the woman.
When asked if the reason Bug Girl opposes DDT usage because she’s really an insect hybrid, Dunning replied, “Tell Bug Girl, I’m not some pheromone susceptible male that she can simply lure into her web and devour. I’m Brian Dunning, the host of Skeptoid!”
Bug Girl could not be reached for comment.
Also in The Babbler:
Anti-vax forces plan assault on aspirin
Weredogs to protest McNabb visit
Bonnie denies plans to nail self to cross
God to smite Bolingbrook on 12/3/10
Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.