Thursday, June 3, 2010

Web Exclusive: Elyse and FermiLab to send a message to the past

Relatives of anonymous sources at FermiLab say Skepchick Elyse will attempt to send a message to the past on June 12.

“She says that her schedule is really messed up because her daughter was born a week early.” Said one source. “So she wants to send a message to her past self, and then she will be prepared for her daughter’s early birth.”

When asked how FermiLab could send a message to the past, another source replied, “Physics!” then smashed a brick with his head.

According to Professor Nick Sawnson, he speculates that Elyse has an intertwined particle in her home. The other particle is at FermiLab. If true, then scientists will attempt to use their particle's “spooky action” to affect Elyse’s particle in the past.

“If this works,” Said Sawnson, not only will Elyse be ready for her baby’s birth, our communications will become unstuck in time! You could read a review of a movie that hasn’t been written yet! Entertainment as we know it will be dead!”

The sources say that Elyse got the idea when she received a message from the future. The message read, “Momhehitmedidnotdidtoquietshutupimtyringtowatchthecubsworldseriesgame!”

When asked to comment, Elyse said, “I won’t be at FermiLab on June 12 at 10 AM, but Women Thinking Free Foundation will sponsor a tour of FermiLab. It will cost $30 dollars, but that includes lunch and a lecture by a female scientist. You can only get the tickets online! Men and women are welcome.”

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.

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