Friday, May 14, 2010

Web Exclusive: ‘Boston leprechauns are trying to frame us!’

An anonymous source within Bolingbrook Village Hall claims that Boston leprechauns have uploaded fake photographs of prominent Will County politicians.

According to the source, the problem started last October. DuPage Township Supervisor William Mayer, Romeoville Mayor John Noak, Valley View school board members Steve Quigley and Mike Evans, attended a National League of Cities conference in Boston.

“We had some time to kill before conference.” Said the source. “So we decided to catch the baseball game. On our way, we ran into the midget. He offered to sell us some shoes. We told him no.”

The man, said the source, started hopping up and down. He said that he would bring us down. Even if we found his pot of gold, he would still get his revenge.

“We thought he was crazy, and so we kept going.”

Seven months later, pictures of the delegation appeared on The Brook Report web site.

“We didn’t remember posing for those pictures.” Said the source. “So we think that little guy was a Leprechaun. He and his friends must have used their powers to impersonate us. Then they took those horrible images. They made us look like horny frat boys!”

Experts consulted by The Babbler agree it is possible for leprechauns to impersonate a human and photograph the illusion.

Elyse, a skeptical podcaster and blogger, disagreed.

“You said you were going to show me pictures of XXX leprechaun porn! These are small crappy pictures of middle aged dudes! I can’t even tell what that guy is holding. Is that a (expletive deleted)?”

When reached for comment over the phone, Mayor Noak said, “What should I do? The Babbler is calling me?  They've never bothered me before.”

A man who sounded like Bolingbrook Mayor Roger Claar replied, “Don’t worry about it. No one takes The Babbler seriously.” This man took the phone and said, “Don’t you have some Connecticut septic workers to pick on?”

None of the other delegates could be reached for comment.

Image by Jean-noël Lafargue

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.

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