Sunday, March 7, 2010

Skeptical Invasion! The Bolingbrook Babbler’s special report on Skepchicamp

Over seventy skeptics converged on Chicago for Skepchicamp to encourage locals, especially women, to deny the supernatural.

“It’s great to see so many women and so many supportive men!” Said a woman who only asked to be called Jean. “I no longer feel like the only woman in the world who thinks Oprah is full of woo.”

Elyse, head organizer and Skepchick blogger, praised the event. “I can’t believe we pulled it off.” Elyse then added, "We might have to rent McCormick Place next year."

Also at Skepchicamp:

Skeptics debut super teacher

Skepchicamp saw the debut of a teacher with super-hero like powers.

The teacher, who was identified as Matt, demonstrated his amazing powers, by breaking boards, walking on glass, and surviving a bed of nails.

When asked to explain his powers, he yelled, “Physics!”

Sources, who asked not to be identified, claim that his powers really come from a combination of genetic manipulation and cybernetics.

“For a few million dollars, science can simulate the power of chi.” Said one of the sources.

Skeptics, the sources say, hope to use Matt to film YouTube videos "proving" that there is no such thing as chi.

Skephchicamp house band wakes the dead

The band Tense Kids played so well at Skepchicamp that they attracted many ghosts.

“I just felt drawn to the Brehon Pub.” Said Donna Perkowski, who died in the 1970s. “It was folksy, but with a punk edge.”

Sid, who died in the 1980s, feels that there was something more to their performance. “They must have used some kind of magic.” He said. “Even when their version of ‘Come On Eileen’ ended, I couldn’t stop dancing. Even the skeptics were dancing. Skeptics don’t dance!”

The ghosts stayed at the Brehon for an hour after the band stopped playing. No serious hauntings were reported.

When reached for comment, a band member said something unprintable, and added, “It’s people like you that make us want to rock even harder for James Randi!”

Experts concerned by flood of “anti-woo” necklaces into Chicago

Occult experts fear the harm Surly Amy’s necklaces could inflict on Chicago’s supernatural population.

“These things should be banned.” Said Bart K. Maxwell, a ghost hunter. “They can turn ghosts into specks of dust, UFOs into airplanes, and bigfoots into men in ape suits!”

Surly Amy, a Hollywood artist, makes ceramic jewelry with slogans like, “Science saves lives,” and “In reason we trust.” Supporters say they are harmless and make skeptics look cool. Critics say they are imbued with anti-psychic energy, and can harm ghosts and psychics.

One psychic, who was being “tested” by Surly Amy, claims that her jewelry turned him into a delusional individual with no powers.

“No lawyer will take my case!” Said the psychic, “But trust me, those things are dangerous.”

When reached at Skepchicamp, Surly Amy replied, “You’re funny. Can I take your picture with this cool app?”

Also in The Babbler:

God favors Lady Raiders
Bolingbrook’s anti-psychic kitty to address James Randi’s convention
Navistar cancels plans for nuclear reactor in Lisle
God to smite Bolingbrook on 3/10/10

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.


Surly Amy said...

Best review of Surly-Ramics ever!

DataJack said...

Outstanding recap, and your talk at the gig was terrific, too.