Sunday, January 17, 2010

Rebecca Watson foes gather in Lisle

Fifty people gathered at the Lisle Hilton for AntiRebeccaCon to speak out against Skepchick founder Rebecca Watson.

“Rebecca is unpatriotic, anti-god, and too damn uppity!” Said Max Cornwall, founder of AntiRebeccaCon during the keynote address.

According to Cornwall, AntiRebeccaCon came together a few months ago. “I sent Rebecca an e-mail calling her a dumb blonde. She said it was offensive. That hurt my feelings. Then I learned that other people don’t like her. So I decided that this was an opportunity.”

Cornwall said that the convention was free, but anyone who wanted to speak had to pay him.

“I think it is telling that so many people would pay me to speak out against Rebecca in a convention setting.”

Patrick Carter from Chicago accused Watson of ruining the Skeptics Guide to the Universe.

“The SGU was great until episode 36, when she joined! Then we had to put up with her comments.”

When asked to provide examples, He claimed that Rebecca said that car companies killed the electric car, and used the pun, “Master debater.”

After an audience member pointed out that Jay Novella actually made those comments, he replied, “Well they sound like comments Rebecca would make!”

Peter Donahue, from Dallas, TX, who claimed to be a skeptic, accused Watson of ruining skepticism.

“She’s in her twenties!” Said Donahue, who is 80. “What does she know? I didn’t get into skepticism until I was 60! Then I was the leader of the skeptical youth movement! She should have waited forty years instead of polluting skepticism with her twits and webbing!”

Cloud, the only female at the convention and a psychic, accused Watson’s of giving into anti-psychic energy. “Everyone know that science was developed by white males. By encouraging women to embrace rational thinking, she is really selling out women!” Cloud offered to purge Watson of her dark energy, “For a discounted price.”

When reached for comment, Rebecca slurred something it being too early in the afternoon, and directed this reporter to her publicist.

Her publicist, Kim, said, “Rebecca and the Skepchicks will not be intimidated by the He-man Rebecca Haters Club!”

Dr. Steven Novella, head of the Skeptics Guide to the Universe, insisted that Watson and his brother Jay would stay on the show.

“They both offer a unique prospective to the show. Even if Rebecca didn't host our web pages, and Jay didn’t administer our pages, I would still have them on.”

In the background, a child cried, “She said, ‘Heads I lose, tails she wins.’ That’s a false dichotomy!”

A woman replied, “We don’t use logical fallacies in this house!”

“Why?” A girl asked.

“Because I said so.” The woman replied.

“Argument from authority!” The children replied.

“Excuse me.” Novella said before hanging up.

Also in The Babbler:

Alien challenges Bolingbrook resident to donate to Haiti earthquake relief
Asian Land Carp applies for political asylum
Lisle Mayor Broda meets with Reptoids
God to smite Bolingbrook on 1/25/10

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.

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