Sunday, November 15, 2009

Clow UFO base approves simulcast of George Hrab's Chicago concert

By Reporter X

Officials at Bolingbrook’s Clow UFO Base announced they would simulcast the Chicago concert of interstellar singing sensation George Hrab.

Said David Hammer of the Department of Interstellar Affairs, “Since we’ve sold out all of our available tickets, and there is considerable demand among our visitors who can’t leave the base, we will simulcast his Chicago show.”

Harb, an accomplished skeptical blogger, podcaster, and singer, gained interstellar notoriety when his song “Far” reached number one on the Milky Way pop charts. Originally recorded as the theme song for the 365 Days of Astronomy podcast, it is now the best selling single in Milky Way history, outselling even Effy’s mating howl single from 12,000 BC.

Clow officials originally planned to allow only five aliens to attend this Thursday’s concert at Burton Place, 1447 N. Wells ST. Due to overwhelming demand, and the organizing efforts of the Interstellar Skeptical Society, the officials increased the quota. When the final slots were sold out, the society persuaded them to simulcast the concert.

“George Hrab is a fine human being.” Said Lyplx of the ISS. “Not only is he contributing to the great coverup, but he is teaching humans to embrace scientific thinking. By doing this, he is helping to prepare the human race for the day we will reveal ourselves. He also rocks!”

Pu Ka’li waited five hours for a chance to see Hrab in person.

“I love to listen to ‘Far’ When I’m making the Alpha Centauri to Terra run.” Said Ka’li. “It’s like I see the planets zipping by, yet George reminds me of the great distances I’m traveling. It’s very humbling to know how advanced our technology is. Plus it has a great beat, and I love his sense of humor.”

Bolingbrook Mayor Roger Claar feels that the simulcast is a positive development.  "I've never heard of him, but the aliens seem to like him.  If this event makes them happy, who am I to argue?"

When asked to comment, Hrab replied, “Wait a minute! If I’m so popular, where are my alien royalty checks? Hey, that will make a great song! That’s why I put up with crazy people like you!”

Thursday’s show will start at 7:30 PM. There is a suggested $10 donation for all humans attending the show. The simulcast will be impossible to watch outside of Clow UFO Base.

On Friday, Hrab will be at the Chicago Skeptics Meetup at Matisse Tavern & Grill, 674 W Diversey Ave. The meetup starts at 7:30 PM. It is not clear if Clow officials will grant special permission for any aliens to attend.

Also in The Babbler:

Bolingbrook’s ghosts give Pfc. Pearson a hero’s welcome
Entrepreneurs fight for the right to sell moon water in Chicago
Scientist: Too much beer turns people into skeptics!
Lisle mayor denies attacking Bolingbrook mayor in Facebook’s Mafia Wars
God to smite Bolingbrook on 11/24/09

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.

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