Sunday, November 29, 2009

Bolingbrook rejects Google Government

The village of Bolingbrook has decided not to participate in Google’s top secret test of Google Government.

“We are happy with Munis.” Said an anonymous source who wants to be a spokesperson for the village. “While this alpha test is free, we feel that we get more when we actually pay for something. How was that?”

Although Google denies its existence, an Internet sites claims that Google is working on applications that could change how democratic governments are run. Some say it could eliminate the need for politicians.

Sources who attended Google’s presentation with Mayor Roger Claar deny that it would eliminate politicians, but said it would be the ultimate in government transparency.

The sources say that Google representative Peter Alberts started by saying that Google Government takes full advantage of cloud computing.

“Wouldn’t it be expensive to keep village hall under constant cloud cover?” Asked Claar.

Alberts explained that cloud computing really means that the programs and files would be on offsite servers instead of on individual computers. This would save the village money because instead of buying a license for each computer, the village can buy cheap netbooks and employees could do all of their work using web browsers.

“How do we know the data will be safe?”

“We’re Google!” Replied Alberts. “Our corporate philosophy prohibits us from doing evil.”

“How secure will it be?”

“We’re Google!”

Claar explained that he was still “an AOL man” and didn’t understand all “this cloud stuff.” He asked why all the information needed to be online.

Alberts replied that Google Government is committed to open government. By putting all documents online, the public can easily access any document. This would save the village thousands in FOIA fees because any document would be available at the click of a button.

Claar’s eyes widened. “What about Bonnie and her fishing expeditions?”

“With Google Government, all documents are available. If she claims she can’t find a document, they’ll think she’s either computer illiterate or has mental software issues.”

Alberts added that putting government information online makes it easier to have residents volunteer help out the village. “Crowdsourcing” could save tax dollars that otherwise would have gone to outside consultants.

“What are some examples of crowdsourcing?”

Wikipedia!” Proudly exclaimed Alberts.

The sources say Claar glared at Alberts.

“OK, bad example.” Replied Alberts. “SETI@home.”

“How many aliens have they found?”

“Good point. How about Galaxy Zoo? They can classify galaxies faster than computers.”

“If you say so.” Replied Claar.

Alberts continued by saying that Google Government was more than a word processing and data storage application. He said it could replace the trustees. Google would provide free wifi to every village resident. By monitoring the residents’ internet traffic, as well as scanning their Google documents for certain keywords, Google Government can create six virtual trustees that can accurate reflect residents’ moods and opinions.

When Claar asked what his role would be in this new government, Alberts explained that Claar would be the “Mayor Sysop.” He would vote in case of a tie, report any glitches to Google, and veto any AI ordinances “with obvious bugs.”

Alberts defended virtual trustees because the village wouldn’t have to pay them, elections would be unnecessary because they’re constantly sampling public opinion, and they couldn’t be swayed by “outside influences.”

When Claar asked how his campaign fund fits in this new structure, Alberts smiled.

“Of course you would still have to run for reelection, but I think of your campaign fund as bloatware.” Albert replied as Claar started to turn red. “A campaign fund should only be used for getting reelected. You seem to use your fund for other things, like cars, oversea trips, and scholarships. I think you should divide your campaign funds into separate funds. One for travel, one for reelection, one for scholarships, and one for your personal discretion. We can use Blogger to set up a blog for each fund, set you up with Google Checkout, and then you can watch each of those funds grow. Because the residents of Bolingbrook can choose how to donate to you, I’ll bet that you will raise even more money for your charities because people who don’t support your reelection will be more likely to donate to the other funds.”

Sources say that Claar stood up and told Alberts that he was rejecting Google Government.

“I don’t understand why people are so obsessed with my personal fund!” Yelled Claar. “My campaign fund gives me the flexibility to deal with high end executives! Because as much as I love Nancy’s Pizza, not all of them like pizza. They want the expensive meals you can only get in Chicago. Thanks to Illinois’ campaign laws, they can’t offer to pay for any of my meals or rounds of golf. If I had to pay for things with my six figure salary, I would have to file for bankruptcy! How would that make Bolingbrook look?”

Alberts, according to the sources, apologized for offending Claar, then said he would pitch Google Government to Lisle Mayor Broda instead.

“I e-mailed my initial presentation to Trustee Brondyke.” Said Alberts. “She said that if I set foot in village hall, she would help me demonstrate medieval stretching techniques. That should be very educational.”

When asked to comment, Claar denied speaking to any representatives from Google. “Google is great for searching the Internet, but I don’t--Hey! Get off of my patio!”

This reporter then heard the sound of breaking glass.

“The Google’s maps have guided me here, and it’s street view has given me the vision to find you and lead you to the Church of Google!”

“Church of Google?”

“Embrace the only true all knowing god on Earth!”

“Does Google know what I’m thinking?”

“Let me Google that!”

This reporter then heard a scuffle, followed by the man screaming in pain. Two other men read the man his rights. The man replied that he his First Amendment rights were being violated because he can’t access the Village’s wifi network.

Second later, Claar picked up the phone and replied, “My village has too many idiots!”

Also in The Babbler:

Mayor Claar and former Mayor Rosenthal form unholy alliance against Bonnie
Turkey ghosts plan their revenge
Clow UFO Base approves video gambling
Cicero woman offers facilitated communication for babies
God to smite Bolingbrook on 12/11/09

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Bolingbrook coalition to launch ‘Don’t Divide us Bonnie’ campaign

A referendum to elect Bolingbrook’s trustees by district hasn’t been certified yet, but opponents have unveiled their campaign. Titled “Don’t Divide us Bonnie,” Citizens for a United Bolingbrook hopes to turn the referendum into a vote against Citizens for a Better Bolingbrook.

“Bonnie has gone too far!” Said Dave Nelson of the Roger Claar Party, which is not affiliated with Mayor Claar. “She wants to carve Bolingbrook into six different districts! In the 1970s, we used to be divided by subdivision. Only when Roger brought us together did we experience unprecedented growth! Don’t take that away from us, Bonnie!”

Ron Y. Emerson, spokesperson for the Al Gore Party, say that the districting plan hurts small parties like his. “Mayor Claar has a huge campaign fund, and popular support. He can find someone to run with him no matter how Bolingbrook is divided, and provide that candidate with plenty of funding. Our supporters are spread throughout Bolingbrook. If we finally manage to get on the ballet, Bonnie’s districting plan would divide our supporters, and make it impossible for us to elect a single trustee candidate.”

CFAUB plans to run several ads on cable TV. The first ad shows alleged Bolingbrook residents standing by Barber’s Corner.

Man1: There is an earthquake coming.
Woman1: They say it could tear us apart.
Man2: It could force families apart!
Woman2: It could raise our taxes.
Woman3: It could force me to get an abortion and enter into a gay marriage.
Man3: But if we vote against Bolingbrook Public Question 1, we will survive the earthquake.
Man1: And say with one voice, “Don’t divide us Bonnie!”

The second ad previewed targets Bolingbrook families:

(A husband and wife stand next to a bed that’s been sawed in half.)
Husband: Thanks to Bonnie’s districting plan, our house will sit on the boundary between two districts.
Wife: Our house and marriage are divided.
(A teenage girl and teenage boy stand on opposites sides of a wall.)
Boyfriend: Thanks to Bonnie, I can’t see my girlfriend because she lives in a different district. My parents think I should only date people in our district.
Girlfriend: Bonnie has ruined my life!
Narrator: Vote No on Bolingbrook Public Question 1 and keep our families and our homes united.
All: Don’t divide us Bonnie!

The third ad makes a questionable comparison between Chicago and Bolingbrook.

(Images of riots, fires, crime, and corrupt Chicago politicians)
Narrator: Since Chicago was divided into wards, crime, corruption, and panhandlers have skyrocketed. Chicago’s aldermen only care about serving their own wards, and not the good of Chicago. Now Bonnie wants to divide Bolingbrook into districts. A district is just another name for a ward, and look at how well they’ve worked for Chicago. This February, vote no on Bolingbrook Public Question 1 and let’s send a clear message. Don’t divide us Bonnie!

The final ad might get the coalition in trouble with the Valley View School District.

(A man is in a gym, wearing a red shirt. He is walking towards women wearing red and black basketball jerseys.)
Fake Coach: The Bolingbrook girls basketball team has a long proud winning tradition. Bonnie was part of that winning tradition a long time ago. Which is why I don’t understand why she supports Bolingbrook Public Question 1? It could force us to break up our team. Now I don’t know about you, but I think a team wins by coming together, not by coming apart. This February, as our team drives towards another state championship, support your team by voting no, and then tell Citizens for a Better Bolingbrook:
Fake Bolingbrook Girls Basketball Team: Don’t divide us Bonnie!

When asked if they had any documentation to prove their allegations, coalition members laughed. “If the media wants proof, they can do their own research. All we have to do is present our narrative, and let the people decide if they want it to be true or not. That’s modern day democracy.”

A source who has a cousin who is close to Citizens for a Better Bolingbrook’s legal team, says their public question will not divide Bolingbrook.

“Districts will elect trustees who will be forced to campaign in their districts! When they do, they will automatically vote for the will of the people! Then the gangs will go away, the mayor will work part time, there will be no more corruption, the sun will shine, and a rainbow will form over village hall! By electing trustees by district, we will come together.”

The source also insisted that CFBB submitted a notice to The Babbler that they intended to circulate a petition before the 108 day deadline.

“The public question will be on the ballet!”

No such notice has appeared in The Babbler’s print edition. When asked to comment, classified coordinator Gerald Crown looked through his papers, then said. “Oops!”

Publisher Chris Olson said that it didn’t matter if The Babbler didn’t print the notice because it hasn’t been a paper of record since his father told the first female mayor of Bolingbrook that women had no business being mayor.

“We’ve come a long way since then.” Said Olson.

Also in The Babbler:

Mayor Claar to sentence seven turkeys to death
Lisle protester: Navistar will lay us off, kill us all, then go bankrupt!
CTA rejects ‘Eat women, not turkeys’ bus signs
George Hrab: I will play at Clow UFO base next year!
God to smite Bolingbrook on 11/29/09

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Clow UFO base approves simulcast of George Hrab's Chicago concert

By Reporter X

Officials at Bolingbrook’s Clow UFO Base announced they would simulcast the Chicago concert of interstellar singing sensation George Hrab.

Said David Hammer of the Department of Interstellar Affairs, “Since we’ve sold out all of our available tickets, and there is considerable demand among our visitors who can’t leave the base, we will simulcast his Chicago show.”

Harb, an accomplished skeptical blogger, podcaster, and singer, gained interstellar notoriety when his song “Far” reached number one on the Milky Way pop charts. Originally recorded as the theme song for the 365 Days of Astronomy podcast, it is now the best selling single in Milky Way history, outselling even Effy’s mating howl single from 12,000 BC.

Clow officials originally planned to allow only five aliens to attend this Thursday’s concert at Burton Place, 1447 N. Wells ST. Due to overwhelming demand, and the organizing efforts of the Interstellar Skeptical Society, the officials increased the quota. When the final slots were sold out, the society persuaded them to simulcast the concert.

“George Hrab is a fine human being.” Said Lyplx of the ISS. “Not only is he contributing to the great coverup, but he is teaching humans to embrace scientific thinking. By doing this, he is helping to prepare the human race for the day we will reveal ourselves. He also rocks!”

Pu Ka’li waited five hours for a chance to see Hrab in person.

“I love to listen to ‘Far’ When I’m making the Alpha Centauri to Terra run.” Said Ka’li. “It’s like I see the planets zipping by, yet George reminds me of the great distances I’m traveling. It’s very humbling to know how advanced our technology is. Plus it has a great beat, and I love his sense of humor.”

Bolingbrook Mayor Roger Claar feels that the simulcast is a positive development.  "I've never heard of him, but the aliens seem to like him.  If this event makes them happy, who am I to argue?"

When asked to comment, Hrab replied, “Wait a minute! If I’m so popular, where are my alien royalty checks? Hey, that will make a great song! That’s why I put up with crazy people like you!”

Thursday’s show will start at 7:30 PM. There is a suggested $10 donation for all humans attending the show. The simulcast will be impossible to watch outside of Clow UFO Base.

On Friday, Hrab will be at the Chicago Skeptics Meetup at Matisse Tavern & Grill, 674 W Diversey Ave. The meetup starts at 7:30 PM. It is not clear if Clow officials will grant special permission for any aliens to attend.

Also in The Babbler:

Bolingbrook’s ghosts give Pfc. Pearson a hero’s welcome
Entrepreneurs fight for the right to sell moon water in Chicago
Scientist: Too much beer turns people into skeptics!
Lisle mayor denies attacking Bolingbrook mayor in Facebook’s Mafia Wars
God to smite Bolingbrook on 11/24/09

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.

Bolingbrook declares “state of emergency’ in response to ‘New Moon’ movie

Fearing that the movie "New Moon" will inspire area teens to date werewolves or vampires, Bolingbrook declared a state of emergency.

Trustee Leroy Brown announced the decision during a symposium at the village hall Saturday night.

“Our fear is that these monsters will take advantage of the young fans of the Twilight series and kill them, or worse.” Said Brown.

The state of emergency frees up funds so all village departments can encourage local teenagers to abstain from dating any monsters. The last time the village declared a similar state of emergency was in 1992, before the release of the role-playing game Vampire: The Masquerade.

Bolingbrook Police officer Ronald Milton, a member of the Supernatural Division, says true vampires are nothing like the vampires in Twilight.

“Vampires can look sexy,” said Milton, “but they cannot have sex, nor do they feel love. The vampires of the Western suburbs are nomads. They seduce their victims, take their blood and then move on.”

Milton says that being bitten by a vampire does not turn its victims into vampires. Nor do vampires kill everyone they feed on.

“I’ve seen too many teenagers scarred for life because a vampire promised to love them forever, only to suck their blood and break whats left of their hearts. It’s so tragic, and yet those liberals in Hollywood glorify them!”

Jenny, who spoke behind a curtain, claimed that she was involved in a love-triangle between a werewolf and a weredeer. She said it was nothing like the affair depicted in “New Moon.”

“Garth the weredeer said he loved me, but he only wanted to take my virginity so I could bear his children. Jeff said he loved me, but he wanted to use me to get to Garth. They never loved me.”

Ellen said the affair ended when Jeff killed Garth, and Jeff tried to kill Jenny. Officer Milton saved her by emptying an M16 clip of silver bullets into Jeff.

Alicia Z. Reed, a spokesperson for Heart Haven Outreach, said H2O is ready to help at-risk-youth traumatized by supernatural monsters.

“My Christian faith inspires me to comfort those who have been touched by the minions of the devil, and drive out the demons that try to possess the soul of our village! But I hope that doesn’t deter people of other faiths from turning to us for help.”

Paula X. Minkski, member of the Bolingbrook Jaycees, says the Jaycees are planning to distribute wolfsbane and garlic to all Bolingbrook teenagers.

“We’re working with the really popular students at Bolingbrook High School to make our garlic and wolfsbane necklaces cool. If we succeed, not only will our young people be protected from monsters, but it will be a phenomenal fund raiser for us!”

An unidentified member of Citizens for a Better Bolingbrook stood up during the symposium and suggested that the police department should have a division dedicated to dealing with supernatural monsters.

“That’s my division!” Exclaimed Milton. “I’ve been on it for 20 years and I’d be happy to take Bonnie into the sewers to show her the monsters we protect Bolingbrook from!”

The member said he would report to Bonnie Alicea, and start an investigation. He also added that he liked the Twilight series’ message to young people that they always have a choice in life.

“We will give Bolingbrook a choice between the heroic Bonnie and the evil Roger!”

Brown also announced a new public service announcement that will run on BCTV starting this week. Produced in corporation the G4 cable channel, Brown said it was more graphic than most of the videos released by the village.

“I make no apologizes for releasing a video that tells our youth not to date monsters!”

The Babbler could not reach a representative from the vampires or werewolves for a response.

Also in The Babbler:

Bolingbrook’s ghosts give Pfc. Pearson a hero’s welcome
Entrepreneurs fight for the right to sell moon water in Chicago
Scientist: Too much beer turns people into skeptics!
Lisle mayor denies attacking Bolingbrook mayor in Facebook’s Mafia Wars
God to smite Bolingbrook on 11/24/09

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Group: Navistar to build nuclear powered trucks in Lisle!

Citizens for a Better Lisle Inc. today accused Navistar of planning to build nuclear powered trucks in Lisle.

“As Lisle’s newest source for investigative research,” said group spokesperson Donnie Gaulburg, “we are the first to report that Navistar plans on converting the old Lucent Technology building into an untraditional manufacturing facility!”

Navistar, which used to be known as International Harvester, manufactures commercial trucks, and military vehicles. Officially, Navistar wants to move their headquarters into Lucent’s old headquarters in Lisle, and add vehicle testing and preparation buildings. This would also include the construction of a 162,000 gallon liquid storage and waste facility.

Gaulburg claims that the facility will actually store nuclear waste.

“It’s simple. They say it can store hazardous liquids. They also say they will not use traditional manufacturing methods at the site. Nuclear waste can be a hazardous material, and building nuclear trucks require nontraditional manufacturing methods. The government allows storage of nuclear waste onsite. Therefore, the tanks will house nuclear waste.”

Most Navistar employees contacted by The Babbler laughed and hung-up the phone. One, who asked not to be identified, confirmed that Navistar is working on a nuclear powered truck.

She said, “The engine would emit no greenhouse gases, and will have a lot of horsepower! This truck could haul a full 53’ trailer across the country at 200 miles per-hour without refueling! Furthermore, it would use a fusion reactor, not fission, so it would not generate nuclear waste.”

She added, “It’ll be 50 years before we can even begin to design the reactor. Still, the engineering staff likes to dream.”

Navistar, she says, just wants to relocate their headquarters to Lisle.

When asked to comment, Lisle Mayor Joe Broda, a former International Harvester employee, seemed baffled. “I don’t know if I like all publicity you Bolingbrook reporters are giving me.”

Trustee Kim Brondyke was more blunt. “That is the craziest thing I’ve heard since a woman tried to convince me that the mayor is on the Meijer payroll. Where do you guys come up with these stories?”

During the interview, Gaulburg walked into Brondyke’s office, holding a stack of papers.

“You just got served by Lisle’s leading provider of Freedom of Information requests since 2009!” Said Gaulburg.

Brondyke examined the papers, and replied, “My grocery list is not a public document!”

“Our marketing research says our followers believe that any document written by a politician is a public document and should be covered by FOIA.”

“But that’s not what the law says.”

Gaulburg replied, “The Constitution says you have to give us anything we want, or else we have the right to immediately overthrow the Lisle government!”

“No, it doesn’t!”

“You need to work on your American history.”

“You need to work on your cardio.” Replied Brondyke. “I would suggest sprinting for about five minutes before I decide to make you the goal of my own pursuit of happiness!”

Also in The Babbler:

The Babbler remembers Pfc Michael Pearson and the other victims of the Fort Hood shooting

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Web Exclusive: British skeptic launches cyberattack against The Bolingbrook Babbler

British skeptic Sid Rodrigues launched a surprise cyberattack against The Bolingbrook Babbler on Thursday. The Babbler’s IT person fixed the affected computers after three hours.

“Damn him.” Said IT Director Lee Brental. “I had plans for tonight. Now I have to clean up stupid malware! We saved your butt in World War II, and this is how you repay us?”

According staff members, Rodrigues, a contributor to Britain’s The Skeptic Magazine and organizer of London’s Skeptics in the Pub, sent a link, via Twitter, to Babbler staff members.

Jan Thilman described the message as, “(An) IQ challenge. I’m a pretty smart person, so I decided to take his online test. So I clicked the link, along with my friends. Our computers started downloading something, and we couldn’t stop it.”

Publisher Chris Olson said the attack will not go unpunished.

Said Olson, “I guess Rebecca Watson decided to use her husband to respond to our $5 Challenge to The Skeptics Guide to the Universe!”

Rodrigues sent an e-mail claiming that he was actually the victim of a “spambot” and he had never heard of The Babbler before this incident.

He added, “Did I mention that I woke up next to Rebecca Watson today? Did I mention that I had lunch with Rebecca Watson? I didn’t send that direct message to you because I was taking a bath with Rebecca Watson. If I wanted to, I could be in bed with Rebecca Watson right now. Did you see me get married to Rebecca Watson on the Internet? There is a skeptic’s heaven, and I am in it! ”

Olson said he will consider his legal options, and urges all Babbler readers to boycott the book, An Atheist’s Guide to Christmas, which features an essay by Rodrigues.

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Bolingbrook Mayor from 2044 visits present day mayor

Sources tell The Babbler that the Bolingbrook Mayor from 2044 traveled back in time to visit Mayor Roger Claar.

One source, who asked to be called David, described the future mayor’s arrival.

“I was walking towards the front door when I saw a flash of light, and a white sphere appear in the drive. I thought it was a UFO, so I yelled that they needed to park at Clow, and take the subway to Village Hall. A woman, I’d say she was in her 60s and looked kind of familiar, stepped out of the craft. The craft vanished, and she said, ‘I will be the mayor of Bolingbrook, and I demand to speak with Roger!’”

Other sources confirm that the five Men in Blue and one Man in Black, escorted the woman to a secured meeting room. The sources agreed that she correctly answered their coded messages, confirming that she access to mayoral level codes. When Mayor Claar walked into the room, the Man in Black objected, citing current regulations. The woman replied that regulations had changed in her time, and she had information about a future disaster. Claar replied that the 9/11 exemption applied.

The Man in Black recommended against speaking with the woman because there was no way to confirm the accuracy of her information. He also said that by talking to Claar, the future mayor might change the future to one that is not favorable towards her.

Both mayors angrily looked at the agent, and said, “I am the mayor of Bolingbrook, and I can do whatever I want!”

Claar then smiled and said to the woman, “I taught you well.”

Village Attorney James Boan then asked the agent to join him in another room, so they could fill out the necessary paperwork for “cross-temporal interactions.”

While The Babbler couldn’t find a complete transcript of the two hour conversation, sources did provide some details.

One sources says the future mayor told Roger that Robert Bowen, a member of Citizens for a Better Bolingbrook, will be elected mayor in the future.

“But thanks to the liberal recall rules they passed, we were able to hold three recall elections before his scheduled inauguration.” Said the future mayor. “When they realized we weren’t going to give up, he resigned. I think he moved to Florida along with the rest of his followers.”

She also credited CFBB for her political success, according to another source.
“Because of their districting referendum, I am able to draw up district boundaries that ensure that my trustee candidates always win. No one bothers to run against my candidates anymore. In fact, the mind-webs are filled with rumors that Bonnie was really working for you.”

“I wish that were true.” Claar allegedly replied.

“Well, I let the opposition rename the water recycling plant after her. It shut them up for a while.”

Later, some sources overheard Claar say, “But they said it was a myth!”

“You’ll find out that they’re really raising money to build private space stations. Oh, and we won’t be invited onboard.”

“Damn them!”

A village employee, who asked to be named Jenny, said she saw Claar and the future in a hallway. They looked what she thought was a camera and made silly faces. Then the future mayor disappeared. Claar sighed, and when she noticed Jenny, said, “I am going to speak with the former director of H2o and I will not be disturbed!”

Other employees claim that after the meeting, Claar started soliciting construction bids for underground shelters. He also asked the DuPage Township to increase their stock of liquor.

One claims that he overheard one of Claar’s phone conversation.

According to the source, he said, “Thanks for donation. You bid, however, is not eligible because I don’t think it’s real. Oh, and tell Glasgow I’m not amused!”

One employee claims to have seen Claar and Trustee Rick Morales discuss these actions.

“If there is a one percent chance that Bolingbrook will be hit by a hypercane, then we should be safe and build underground shelters. If there is a one percent chance that the survivors of this hypercane will need to barter for food and medicine with booze, then I will tell Bill Mayer to stock up on liquor! And if the businesses helped by my actions want to donate to my campaign fund, I will let them! I have grandchildren to think about!”

When asked to comment, Claar denied the entire story and replied, “Why can’t you guys be more like your webmaster? He wouldn’t be calling me at 2 a.m., I mean 1 a.m.. Whatever, it’s too damn early!”

When reached by The Babbler, she denied have a longer conversation with Claar or being pregnant.

“Preggers? As if! I have better things to do with my time than hang out with grody men. Like spreading the good news to the left coast about JC or catching gnarly waves like this one! Oh no, I’m wiping out for Jesus!”

Also in The Babbler:

More Chicago men consider pink a masculine color
Sources: Public Option will not cover space aliens
Navistar denies plan to store nuclear waste in Lisle
God to smite Bolingbrook on 11/15/09

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.