Sunday, October 25, 2009

Bolingbrook allows aliens to go trick or treating!

By Reporter X

Bolingbrook’s Department of Interstellar Affairs will ease their regulations on October 31 to allow more aliens to go out trick or treating.

“We were pleased with the results last year.” Said Donald Henson, spokesperson for the department. “It promoted better relations between the alien and the human residents of Bolingbrook.”

According to Henson, there are four appearance classifications for aliens. Normally, only Class A aliens can be seen in public with a proper disguise. For Halloween, Class A and Class B aliens will be allowed in public, provided that their public appearances must be Halloween related, and they cannot reveal their true origins to the general public.

Joq Luq, a long time Clow UFO Base resident, says he enjoyed last year’s Halloween outing.

“I just went outside as myself, and it was weird.” Said Luq. “Everyone complimented my ‘costume.’ I got lots of colored sugar, and a human female acted like she wanted to mate with me. Normally, when I go outside, people scream in horror. It felt great to be loved for a change.”

Mayor Roger Claar feels it is important for the aliens to mingle with humans once a year.

“In the movies, aliens are either killers or gods.” Said Claar. “Really, they’re just sentient beings, like us. Now the world isn’t ready to know the truth about aliens, but for one day, we can give our residents a hint of the truth.”

Qat Swaq, is looking forward to this year’s outing. “I’ve heard horror stories about screaming little humans. So I plan on dressing up as one. Two of my friends will play the tortured adults who are forced to take care of me. I’ve always wanted to scream, but my culture prohibits me from speaking too loud. Now I can express my full vocal range. Thanks Roger!”

Kno Lockmo has a really scary costume in mind.

“I plan on dressing up as Bonnie and knocking on Roger’s door. I can’t wait to see the look on his face!”

All aliens must report back to Clow by 1 A.M. Any incidents between aliens and humans should be reported to the Department of Interstellar Affairs.

Also in The Babbler:

Psychic: Jay Cutler will leave Bears and win the Super Bowl with the Lions.
Aliens laugh at Windows 7
Fermi lab behind unseasonably cool weather in Chicago
Skeptical singer Geroge Hrab invades Chicago on 11/19!
God to smite Bolingbrook on 11/3/09

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.

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