Sunday, July 19, 2009

The readers speak out: July 2009

Reader's Editor Doug Fields here. Let's start off with some old business. It's been two month's since we issued the $5 challenge to The Skeptics Guide to the Universe. All they have to do is debunk The Babbler on their podcast, and we'll give them $5. We've heard nothing back from them. This is money that could have gone towards their little movie, or towards the big surprise at last weekend's TAM. Do they just not need the money, or are they simply unable to debunk The Babbler? To paraphrase Mayor Roger Claar, make of it what you will.

On to your letters. This reader had a sudden epiphany about marriage.
To The Babbler:

Last weekend, I realized that we needed to be more skeptical of marriage. Marriage is about ownership of a woman. It's totally irrational for a man to claim ownership of a woman's sexuality. Women should be free to express their sexuality, and they should reject society's idea of "attractive!"
Younger women can learn a lot from overweight middle-aged men! Don't let most people tell you otherwise. Most people believe there's an old guy in the sky watching over them. Don't be a sheeple!

Ben Peckerman
West Chicago

Let me guess. You came to this realization after you learned about the marriage of Skepchick Rebecca Watson to Sid Rodrigues?

Brian from Aurora apparently has issues with Lisle, IL.
To The Babbler:

The people of Lisle are so stupid; they can't even pronounce the name of their village. It's not "Lyle," its "Listle" as in whistle! That's how it's spelled, and that's how you should pronounce it! And people attack Aurora's schools? This is unfair! If it weren't for Benedictine University, Lisle would be the stupid capital of Chicagoland!

Brian Watanabe
Aurora, IL

I wouldn't be so hard on the residents of Lisle. Lisle is really controlled by their trees, and they ordered the residents to use the current spelling and pronunciation of Lisle. I'm sure if it were up to the residents, they would spell it Lyle.

You're welcome to take your issue to the trees, but they don't take too kindly to criticism of their decisions. Also, do you really want to find out first hand how deadly their human-tree hybrid assassins are?

Now I normally don't include comments from the web site, but this one is worthy of my section:
To The Babbler:

Also, is the Clow UFO base gearing up to celebrate Apollo 11's 40th anniversary? Have some parties already begun? 

A friend of mine a little bit north of Miami told me about some visitors that have surfaced too close to a number of vessels in The Bermuda Triangle. Even at altitude, the crafts appear to be unsteady. Can you confirm this? 

My personal opinion has always been that all visitors from other systems should not be permitted to go "off-road". They need to stay at Clow because most people aren't ready for them yet.

To answer your first question, the aliens at Clow won't be celebrating the Apollo 11 landing. After all, they can travel between the stars within day or weeks. A trip to our moon is no big deal.

However, many politicians, local, state, and national, will depart from Clow on July 20th, to visit the Apollo landing site. Don't worry, because the footprints and the Lander are protected by force fields.

As for your other questions, you might want to talk to The Weekly World News. We mainly cover the Chicago area.

Finally, we've received a lot of letters about the conflict between Roger Claar and Citizens for a Better Bolingbrook. None of them are printable. If you have to call Roger Claar an ugly crook or call Bonnie Alicea a fat liar, go to the Topix web site. We're run a serious publication here.

Also in The Babbler:

Russians test anti-global warming device on Bolingbrook
Area psychics predict booming business
Beware of the Bolingbrook Octagon?
Wire fighter opens dojo in Warrenville
God to Smite Bolingbrook on 7/25/09

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.

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