Thursday, July 23, 2009

Can the restaurant event save Bolingbrook?

By Reporter X

Sources within Bolingbrook Chamber of Commerce hope Saturday's Restaurant and Catering Event will save Bolingbrook's budget.

"It's the least we can do for the Village." Said Tim, not his real name. "Roger gave us space in his special community center. Heck, even the Jaycees can't get an office there. Since Roger's been so good to us, we thought we should return the favor."

Bolingbrook charges an additional 1.5% sales tax for restaurant purchases. Our anonymous sources hope that the event will entice residents and visitors to eat in Bolingbrook more often.

"Bolingbrook features many trendy national chains, plus Nancy's!" Said John, another source.

The chamber is also making accommodations for Bolingbrook's resident space alien population.

"Clow UFO Base restricts the number of deliveries because people might wonder why the airport staff is ordering enough food for a thousand people." Said Tim. "So we've rented out several spots where the aliens' orders can be delivered without raising suspicion. Then our volunteers take the meals to Clow. Sure some aliens can go to the restaurants, but there are many that can't, but would still love to consume our local cuisine. We feel like we're opening up a new consumer base for Bolingbrook."

Our sources say that they hope they can increase restaurant revenue enough to make up for the lost retail tax revenue. Then they hope that the vibrant restaurants will attract new retail stores into Bolingbrook.

Mayor Roger Claar fully supports the short-term goal of the Restaurant and Catering Event.

"If we can't shop our way out of this budget short-fall, then we'll eat our way out!"

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.

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