Sunday, June 14, 2009

More graduates and students turn to Clow UFO base

By Reporter X

Once feared by Bolingbrook's teens, the economy is now forcing them to consider internships at Clow UFO base.

Clow recruiters have received a record number of applications for their teen and pre-college programs. Even though summer vacation has started, there is still a backlog of 200 applicants.

One of them is Daryl T Stevens. "My dad told me to get a job, but there are no jobs out there. I'm competing with adults. It's not fair. I hope they take me in at Clow. I'd rather have alien parasites in me, than be punished by my dad every day I'm unemployed."

Recent graduate Tim is hoping to be selected as a test passenger on a relativistic sub-luminal ship.

"To me, it will only seem like I'll be in space for a weekend. But on Earth, three months would have passed by. It will stink, but my parents will save money for college by not having to feed me during that time. But I'm told that the aliens can give me fake memory of my summer vacation."

Donnie Livingston is one of the lucky few to get a Clow internship.

"They have me working in the kitchen. I help out with the live dishes. It didn't think it would be that bad, until I was attacked by the Pollex Bone Spiders. Boy those things can bite. Still, it's better than being unemployed."

John K. Lai, of the Bolingbrook Department of Extraterrestrial Affairs, is pleased with the candidates. "Not to long ago, we used to have to kidnap teens for our internships. Now they're begging to be let in. I'm sorry for the hardships are residents are facing, but it is good for us."

Also in The Babbler:

Roger Claar crop circle spotted in Britain
Aliens vote Nancy's best pizza in Bolingbrook
Contrail illness cases drop in Bolingbrook
Lisle trees approve new village board
God to smite Bolingbrook on 6/19/09

Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.


ufos ufos said...

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Bolingbrook Babbler said...

Thank you.