Patches first achieved fame when the ghost of skeptic Perry DeAnells possessed her. After the experience, Patches gained the ability to make words appear on digital cameras. Neely, a psychic with 30 years experience, retired so she could facilitate Patches' readings. Within two months, Patches became the most popular psychic in Lisle.
"She just loved the attention!" Said Neely. "Sure she helped people, but each client made her feel special. Like she was the center of the universe. Of course she may very well have channeled power from the center of the universe."
Patches consulted with Babbler's editor on many stories, and she was featured in a YouTube video that warned the public about Skepchick.org. She was going to have her own column, but her illness ended that effort.
As for her encounter with DeAnells, Patches said, "We didn't spend much time together, but we did share a mutual dislike for birds. Though he was more extreme about it than I was. And I'm a cat!"
Patches, who was almost 12 when she died, was found in a Canadian no-kill shelter by her grandson, David.
"David e-mailed me a picture of Patches, and I immediately sensed a psychic connect. I had to have her."
David paid for Patches and then smuggled her into the United States. David, according to Neely, feared that Patches would be sized by the Canadian Intelligence Agency because of her high psychic potential.
While Patches enjoyed giving over 20 readings a week, Neely said that each time she would absorb some of the client's negative energy. This, she said, lead to her death.
"She so enjoyed her readings, that I couldn't take them away from her. That would have been cruel. She was chosen by Perry to help others, and I couldn't deny Perry's last wish."
Neely says she prefers not to think of Patches as dead. "I think of her as performing psychic readings in another dimension." She added that she is still in contact with Patches. For a fee, she can facilitate a reading for a "special client."
An unnamed source within the Lisle government said that Mayor Joe Broda will declare Saturday as Patches day.
"Next to the Arboretum, Psychic Kitty was our biggest tourist attraction. Our village has lost an icon." Said the source.
An anonymous Skepchick blogger told The Babbler that while they mourned the loss of Patches, they had unprintable words for Neely, accusing her of exploiting DeAnells and an innocent cat for personal gain.
Instead of flowers, donations in her name should be sent to a local animal shelter.
Please note: All articles on this site are works of fiction.
Real Life: Princess, the cat who played Patches in the original article and in the video, will be put to sleep on Saturday. She was loved, and she will be missed.